Are they regrets or memories?
“H- hey... Should we talk, or something. Maybe.”
Rika swirled her wineglass and looked out of the small window in the kitchen.
“If you want, er. I mean. If you’d like.”
She sighed deeply.
“If you’re fine then I am, or whatever.”
“No. Sorry, I’m bad with talking. Ah. You know.”
Mary laughed shyly.
“I do know.”
Rika frowned, the moon lighting her silver-blue eyes.
“I’m sorry, that sounded mean...”
“No, you’re in the right. I just feel bad still.”
Mary held her hands together, leaning against the counter, unsure what distance she should keep.
“You don’t need to.”
Rika sipped her wine.
“I know, but I do. That’s not important though.”
Rika patted the chair next to hers.
“Please sit, you don’t need to be distant.”
Mary blushed as she sat down.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know how close... or, you know.”
Rika smiled behind her wineglass.
“I know.”
Rika and Mary’s eyes met for a moment.
“No funny business, we’re both spoken for now.”
Mary’s cheeks turned crimson.
“I’d never try anything!”
Rika laughed quietly.
“I’m sorry, I’m just joking. That’s the kind of thing Yuki would say to break the ice.”
Mary laughed embarrassedly.
“This is so new to me.”
Rika nodded.
“Me too. I don’t know how much to open up or close off, you know?”
Mary nodded.
“I know exactly what you mean. Should we just... Open up then?”
Rika smiled and finally looked at her.
“I’d like that.”
They both blushed and avert their eyes.
“First though, would you like a glass of wine?”
“I would.”
Mary poured from from the bottle she’d had sitting next to her.
“You already had a glass for me?”
“I kind of figured you’d say yes. Sorry.”
Mary blushed.
“No, you were definitely correct.”
Mary picked up her glass and took a sip.
“It may make it easier to talk.”
“That would help to have one person that could steer a conversation.”
Mary giggled.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re a good person to talk to.”
Rika waved her hand.
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“I’m not, it’s true. We used to talk forever in high school about literally, everything.”
Rika blushed.
“I was a little different in those days.”
Mary laughed.
“Not at all, you’re exactly the same. You’re just older.”
Rika sighed.
“I’ve gotten old.”
Mary frowned.
“You know that’s not what I mean. We’re nearly the same age too, so watch it.”
Rika looked away nervously.
“Right, sorry.”
Mary sighed.
“We’ve grown up though, that’s for sure.”
Mary ran two fingers along the edge of her wineglass.
“Well, at least you did.”
“What do you mean?”
Mary frowned.
“We broke up because you were more mature than me.”
“Mary, that’s not...”
“No. No. That’s it. You were thinking ahead then, and I wasn’t. To this day, it’s the same. I’m still immature, and you have a life set up, you have an actual career. I live in some kind of fantasy, I am the exact same girl you knew all those years ago. And...”
Rika saw tears running down Mary’s cheeks.
“I’m...”
Mary was hesitating.
“I... I can’t say it.”
Rika reaches her hand out. But, Mary pulled away.
“You can say anything to me, there’s no need to shut me out.”
Mary looked up from her glass, the moon illuminating her blue hair.
“I- I still am in love with you!”
Rika nearly dropped her wineglass.
“What? We just...”
Mary was quietly crying.
“I know, I know. We already talked about it, but seeing you again like that, I...”
She wiped the tears from her cheeks.
“You’re still the girl I loved, even after all this time.”
Rika set her wineglass on the small table next to her.
“It ended so long ago.”
Mary shook her head.
“For you it ended, for me... I still kept loving you, I was so upset. It felt like you decided I wasn’t pretty or interesting anymore.”
Rika frowned, trying not to look into Mary’s pained eyes.
“That’s not it at all. It just felt like... Like, it was the end.”
“So all those feelings you had for me just went away, even after all that time?”
Rika sighed, frustrated, trying to explain something she couldn’t.
“No. I- I still loved you too, I mean.”
Rika blushed and looked out the window.
“Of course I did.”
Mary shook her head.
“I’m not sure it’s even worth asking why, then. Is it?”
Rika sighed.
“Honestly? It isn’t. I don’t have an answer to that.”
Mary began crying again.
“How do you feel now, then?”
Rika thought for a moment.
“I- I still love you too.”
Rika buried her face in her arms.
“That’s so unfair to say, but I really do. I haven’t dated anyone since you.”
Mary looked at Rika, trying, and failing to understand.
“Why?”
Rika’s eyes began tearing up.
“I told myself because it was for school and then work, but really I think it had to do with you. It was hard to move on.”
She and Mary sat in silence, both trying to find words to say.
“We still both loved, no, love each other then.”
“Yeah. I- I really don’t know what to do now. I love Yuki too. She’s the one for me.”
Kaede was still crying.
“And I’m not.”
Rika growled in frustration.
“I think you could’ve been too.”
Mary began sobbing.
“Don’t say that! You can’t...”
“I- I know. I’m awful for it, but it’s true. If I don’t say it I’d be lying to myself.”
Mary reeled in anger.
“You’re so selfish!”
“I know!”
“Yuki is an angel, she’s so much prettier than me.”
Rika began sobbing.
“I know.”
She sniffled.
“But... You’re an angel too. And, as selfish as I am! Kaede is like a princess from a fairytale, graceful and beautiful in every way.”
Mary sat silently.
“We just met today, but I really like her. She makes me feel like I felt with you.”
Mary now growled in frustration.
“I’m comparing her even. What’s wrong with me. She’s so unlike you.”
Rika sighed.
“They may be better for us, then we are for each other. But.”
“But, I miss you.”
Rika began crying again.
“I miss you so much, it almost hurts.”
Mary’s spoke quietly.
“I wish I could hold you, again.”
“It’s. It’s too dangerous though.”
“Probably. But.”
Mary raised her head.
“We can, if you want.”
Mary smiled shyly.
“Just holding each other.”
Rika blushed.
“It’s not that big of a deal, but just that.”
Mary moved closer to Rika, and rested her head on her shoulder.
Rika wrapped her arms around Mary.
“We used to sit just like this.”
“I remember. It feels nostalgic.”
Rika was blushing.
“Yeah. This is pretty, nice.”
Rika interlocked her fingers with Mary’s.
Mary didn’t say anything in response, she only sighed gently.
They could feel each other’s breathing, and feel each other’s touch. Nothing was different, like they could just pick up right where they left off.
Rika looked at Mary’s far away eyes, staring up at the moon. The same eyes she’d loved staring into.
Suddenly Mary looked up and their eyes met.
They both were blushing, the slow warmth of them being together began growing hotter.
It was a quiet attraction, it felt like the memories were pulling them together.
Mary could feel Rika’s golden hair brushing her cheeks.
Her blue eyes sparkled like gems in the moonlight.
Rika couldn’t make herself look away, her heart was pounding. And, her face felt hot.
Mary’s pursed lips were exactly as she remembered them, soft and delicate.
They found themselves with their lips almost touching.
“This, this can’t happen.”
“No.”
Mary’s eyes looked deeply into hers, to where she was loosing her bearings.
“It would mean too much.”
“We still love each other.”
“So much.”
They still kept their lips close though. Looking at each other in silence.
Suddenly, Mary felt Rika’s fingers on her lips.
Rika leaned her head forward and Mary closed her eyes.
They were able to kiss again, something both of their hearts ached for.
Rika spoke softly.
“This doesn’t count.”
Mary shook her head.
“It works for me though.”
Their lips met Rika’s fingers again, neither of them wanted to end it. Their old flame burned hot.
Mary whispered, Rika felt her lips moving.
“This is a one-time thing.”
Rika smiled.
“Thank you for everything.”
Mary’s face turned even more crimson.
“Thank you, also... .”
“... Hello, you two.”
Rika and Mary saw the dim outline of Yuki’s small figure.
