Episode 1 - Music is as sharp as glass
After a strange dream Lilac seems distanced from her stage…
This episode contains abuse/violence!
Readers have been warned.
It was rainy again
Which didn't fit the perfect play that was set out to be written
But what can you do? One must learn how to adapt before they can truly find themselves, yet Lilac seemed troubled by that moral
Standing as she cut some onions on a cutting board in her IKEA- like kitchen set up. It had a pale brown wooden table with white painted legs and a beautiful tablecloth with a flower arrangement, although if you looked for too long you could find cigarette butts buried within. The kitchen and dining room were in the same room, which was pretty small; the walls only had paintings her mother had gotten from some Italian man she had a fling with.
Nothing too special, although boring as it may be, it was beautiful.
Jazz music played from the old vintage-looking radio, but between you and me, it was actually a Bluetooth plastic radio connecting to Lilac's phone, which had many restrictions,
of course.
As she chopped on the cutting board, she thought more and more about what had been troubling her, multiple things that had mixed into her mind like scrambled music or like cookie dough batter, so uneven, unorganized.
But one dream took over those thoughts.
The dream continued every night for the past month now, but just now she thought she might have finished it, but it made her uneasy.
She loved drama, romance, mystery even, but this was just unsettling. A dream that followed her like some stalker, playing out some play, that rewrote what she already had.
It was almost like—
A sharp pain rushed through her finger for a second before something cold yet warm at the same time ran down the tip of her pointer finger.
A small cut was found, she wasn't focused. Which was odd. She was always focused.
She felt tears burn in her eyes trying to leave for one second, but only one; she wasn't good at dealing with pain, but she tried to hold it in. It was a bad idea to make too much sound. She put her finger in her mouth as she walked over to the sink - The taste made her take it right back out though, the taste of raw onion stained her tongue.
The final straw was later that afternoon. It was sunny, so perfect, finally fitting in with what was needed. She thought so, at least - or maybe even wanted to make her believe so.
She sat at her white, neat piano set that some guy her mother dated for around 4 months bought and started to play a piece with a unique, yet calming, melody. Behind, sat on her not-so-white-anymore couch, was a woman with immense curves and bright red hair cut into a bob, with pale skin and bright blue eyes. She wore a tacky old-fashioned red dress, holding a cigarette as she listened to the music.
The glass door to the garden was opened slightly for fresh air, which made this scene even more perfect than it already was. But it wasn't good enough. How could it be good enough? She didn't even know how to write or explain, but it just wasn't enough.
Lilac flinched, messing up her beautiful sound with a sense of hesitation.
So predictable, she knew if she couldn't get this sorted out, it would soon affect her work, but now, it just had to be now.
"What garbage."
"Absolute garbage"
"I can't even be blessed with a talented child from that man," Her mother spoke in a cold, irritated voice, so sharp that it could cut to Lilac's heart.
Lilac just sat still at the piano, before getting up and turning to face her mother.
"Please forgive me Mother, I'm still new to this piece, I do hope I can live up to what you dream, I've been practicing—" Lilac was cut off.
"Do you think you're so much better at that lame speech or that idiotic way you talk or perform - all excuses! You are hiding some truth about yourself that maybe you're not so "perfect"... stupid wench." Her mother's voice was still cold, but she seemed to begin messing up her words and her tones would shift... Lilac's guess was alcohol, but how was she to know?
Her mother's words were scrambled, much like Lilac's mind (which was one of the only things they had in common, in her opinion). But mother wasn't so great herself, hooking up with every man that caught her eye, trying to drink away her depression, from what? Growing up and sucking up life?
"You're a bit of a wench yourself, you know? Do you even remember the name of the guy you were just with? Or was it after 150 you stopped counting?" Lilac made a cocky face as she grinned.
"I didn't realize my music skills were as terrible as your choice in prostituting, or shall I say "your type in men" if you even had one."
A throbbing warm yet cold to the touch pain jolted through her body at that moment - Her mother stood in front of her, dead eyes looking at Lilac as if she were a disgusting piece of trash or a felon.
She had slapped her, but it didn't stop. Her mother had this feeling of anger and she didn't know what to say that would have an effect.
You snake.
Wench.
Garbage.
That's what you are, garbage. Nasty brat.
She slapped her again and again, and pulled her hair until when she stopped, she finally felt a bit of relief. She flinched, looking at what she had done, since even if you hated something, watching yourself fall apart never ceased to amaze and scare her. She wiped her hands off, lucky she had put her cigarette down before throwing a tantrum, but bits of it still got on Lilac.
She had fallen to the ground to try and guard herself to the best of her abilities, her perfect straight pinned bob now messed up and tangled, bits of her mother's cigarette butt dashed in. Her arms were bruised, but these for the most part are what you could visibly see at the moment; the bruises, although dark, held some unknown feeling, just like that deep, limitless unknown feeling her mother had for her that she couldn't describe... it was more than hatred, but what else was there to name?
"Clean yourself up before I get home, it's embarrassing to look at you sweetheart." Her mother said at the door, looking back slightly at her before leaving.
She wanted to stay on the ground, the cold, wooden floor, which at first glance shone brightly with the sunshine, but in the cracks had what seemed to be black mold growing. What if she stayed here forever? Who would even care? - maybe her mother, maybe not. It made her angry, angry she didn't know what to feel or how things should go... what was the point in getting up? She closed her eyes slowly as she looked at the ground.
Just staying like this.
But at last it had to come to an end at some point; they couldn't stay in this scene for much longer, could they? It would bore them. Lilac sighed and slowly got up, wincing a little from some of the injuries, but not too much. She brushed herself off and headed forward the stairs, holding her right arm which had gotten more damaged than the other parts of her. Each step feeling heavier than the next.
Maybe it was mental stress, maybe even physical, she didn't know, therefore could not answer.
Tick— Tock
Tick— tock
Tick— tock
Dinggg — Dinggg
The bell rang, loud and clear.
Wait, what bell? They didn't own one...
Halfway up the stairs she stood, frozen in time almost; it was as if clocks were all around her... she moved her eyes downward, and she saw a clock
Inside her.
"Are you okay?" A man's voice said, worried, as if unsure what to do.
Lilac's eyes opened fast and she gasped in shock; she didn't faint, but merely made some scene up in her mind? Cold sweat ran down her back... she was still on the floor where her mother had left her, and now instead of her mother, there was a man.
Her once panicked expression lessened, her face flattening into a bored stare; she creased her eyebrows before trying to return to a natural state.
If she was going to be honest, she thought she was crazy; first weird dreams, now a weird psychotic "vision" and then some man standing right in front of her looking like a train wreck. Great.
She wasn't sure whether to be polite, or to act like she didn't want him there, yelling "I don't care for you, I don't need a dad!", or to just act normally. She didn't want to put forth too much effort... plus, she needed to do something about herself - her mother was right, she looked like trash right now.
"Seriously do you need help— I'm not the best but I could— I don't know, maybe call someone?—..." the man said nervously, looking around as if he was worried how she would react.
Definitely the money.
No way would her mother date something so painfully corny to watch unless he had something to bring to the table. It was truly tragic to watch.
But who could blame him? From his point of view, Lilac had just been staring at him blankly as she sat messed up on the wooden floor - it's not like he was a part of the audience.
"Did you see me go up the stairs?" Lilac asked, still with a blank face; she hadn't decided how to act toward him yet.
He looked confused at her question, which pretty much summed it up. She was quite literally going mad. And for some reason, it gave her relief and deep fear at the same time.
She sighed heavily before trying to get up. Concerned, the man came closer to try to help her - he saw a helpless girl alone, how cute.
She slapped his hand away, which was trying to reach out to help, and gave him a look of hatred, a look which she had inherited from her mother.
"I'm sorry, did I do something wrong? I just mean you don't look well and I know— I mean I can see you're in pain and I just want to help, so please-" he was cut off by her.
"Your act isn't very good. It's cliché and over-used in characters." She spoke as if she knew she were in a play of some kind; it was harsh.
For a split second, the man's careful face slipped, but then, as if remembering his place, registered back to his panicked mode,
Bingo.
Did you catch it?…
Thank you so much for reading!
The second side of the hourglass is coming in November!
