Prologue-The First Side of the Hourglass
“Alice” has finally woken up to travel to wonderland, but why?
Lilac?! You’re not Alice! is a dark fantasy horror story that explores different mental illness, complex relationships and where the line from reality to fantasy is thin to none
Please do be aware along the 1st prologue and cover look nice this story is heavy gore and violence it also explores into mental illnesses and their views on the world and heavy abuse. Readers have been warned.
Take care as you wonder on down the rabbit hole. Not everything down there is meant to be found.
Tick Tock Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Tick Tock
It's time to wake up Alice.
You've been sleeping for far too long.
First Side of the Hourglass
This strong feeling of exhaustion and annoyance, mixed in with sadness was so sickening. Why? It felt like the girl's eyes carried many years on them. In this dark space.
Alone.
The floor was so cold, made out of dark wood like a black hole; it was tight, so tight. The faces on the wall always looked at her, their expressions were always so happy. As if they stole hers and made it their own. She hated it so much, she wanted to rip off their faces with anything, just anything. The room itself was small, it did have windows, but you couldn't see out of them.
She was in a room decorated like one of those lower class living rooms. But the furniture gave her the feeling like it was watching her, and felt colder than the floor and bugs came from under the cushions. In the middle of this small room sat on her knees the young seven year old girl, dressed like Alice from Alice in Wonderland but with purple and green for colors instead.
All this young girl did was sit on the floor and cry, looking down as to not see those faces that taunted her. So dark with no light in that lonely room.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt somewhere?" a familiar young boy's voice asked.
It felt like a warmth of light had just cracked through her darkness. The girl's eyes widened, finally, the sun could shine through the windows. Her bright green eyes sparkled each shade of green as the light reflected off them like a mirror.
The girl felt as if she knew this boy from somewhere, such warmth in his concern, like a refreshing wave to the bitterness. Her eyes followed him as he got down on the floor with her. His hair looked like chocolate and even seemed to have the same texture. His eyes were just like hers.
"It's like chocolate... So pretty" She bluttered out loud, still with a stone-like expression.
The boy looked shocked for a second and then got flustered from embarrassment; he never saw his hair as anything special. So it was a nice change in perspective. He went to touch his hair as he spoke to her.
"Really? I guess I never thought about it like that– Thanks...I like your hair a lot too! It reminds me of milk tea!" He said firmly with a smile, like he was proud of thinking about it.
"Tea is disgusting." The girl stuck her tongue out and made a weird face.
His face fell into a defeated expression once she said that and he started to mumble something.
"I thought it was pretty good," he pouted, which turned into a laugh.
Lilac smiled; it made her happy though. She never did like her hair. It was so muddy, so ugly. At least everyone told her so, even if her "everyone" wasn't much.
As much as she loved this feeling, another wave of anxiety came to her. Someone was coming, or maybe watching? It felt like it was dangerous. She started to tense up. She had to get away with him, and fast. Shadows with smiles started to fill the room; they were tall and footsteps from one side to the other kept growing louder.
"We have to go somewhere far from here." She stood her ground in her voice, and started to get up.
This surprised the boy but he agreed. Where would they go though? How far was "far"?
Both of them were unsure, but they opened the front door near where they sat and went to leave. It was like a fever dream. They walked nonstop in this void. Everything spinned around them, different parts of time, people, feelings; they aged as they walked until they stopped at a forest.
They were now around fourteen to fifteen years old by the time they stopped.
The forest reminded her of that room. So dark. The trees were huge and wide, their trunks reached to the sky, the leaves grew so thick you couldn't see the sun, which made the grass darken and start to die. The tree's trunks started to crack into faces smiling at the two, which made her have that deep uneasy feeling.
"Everything will be fine, I'm right here," the boy said to calm her down, holding her hand tighter.
She finally sighed in relief and the tension started to fade. This familiar feeling felt like something important, something like–
"You finally made it... Alice," A voice from up in the trees said playfully with a hint of smugness.
A boy, similar age to her, jumped down from the tree he was on and landed on his feet. His appearance made her flustered for a second. His dark hair was arranged in two-strand twists with a clean square parting pattern that went barely to his shoulders, with a brown brown skin tone. He had small magenta strands mixed into his hair and sharp, yellow-colored eyes.
He looked like the spitting image of the cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland, and he acted like it too.
She snapped out of it and her face lit up; she's always wanted to meet him! This strong unknown feeling called out.
But she paused - did he say "Alice"?
"I've always wanted to meet you! I mean I don't know why but this feeling is so strong I know it must be true!" She kept talking, getting lost in the moment but stopped and said, "Although I feel this way, I'm not who you call Alice... I'm not like her at all!"
The Cheshire cat-looking boy spun around her; if he had a tail, she's sure that he would have wrapped it around her, and she got nervous the closer he got. His grin widened, like he was amused.
"You look like her, no? You talk like her, and you even dress like her. So how aren't you Alice?" He played with her shoulder length hair.
He played with her face, stretching it while laughing, the nervousness she had because of his beautiful looks washed away and only annoyance was felt. It was as if he was somehow disappearing and reappearing every time he spun around her, making her go crazy. She pushed him off her and said, angrily,
"Look! I have a brother, he can even say so!" She said, determined, and turned over to where she thought he was.
What brother?
What did she say?
Who was that boy who held her hand?
When had she let go?
These thoughts ran fast through her mind, like she was going crazy.
"What brother? Hmmm? Alice are you... Playing with me?" he laughed a little, his grin still so creepily set on his face, he really did resemble the Cheshire cat.
"Chester, I'm being serious! He was just right there–" Her uneasiness in her voice grew.
"How'd you know my name?" He said as he stood right in front of her, as if he knew this would happen.
He was right, how did she know? It came out so naturally she didn't even think about it.
The clock rang, loudly, like before; so loud, like it was ringing her very soul. Things started to twist around, unsettling her. She started to panic - she didn't want to be alone again! She didn't even know where she was going, what about the boy? Her skin turned a bit paler as she looked around quickly.
"It seems like our time is up, that worrying rabbit is so impatient..." His face changed into a bummed expression. "But i'll see you again soon, very soon..." He gave her a kiss on the forehead and smiled.
"You stupid cat!" she covered her forehead with her hands, flustered.
Before she could do anything, she blinked and he and the forest were gone. When she opened her eyes again, she was in a huge white space, enclosed in glass. Under the glass, not too far from her right side was a 1, on her left a 12.The girl was confused, this place was almost set out to be one huge clock. But how did she get here from a forest? Was this the "far" she needed to go?
The girl looked around, the space was huge; it made many different sizes of clocks, some small like a pocket watch, and some huge like hers, the size of 100 clocks together. All through this never ending space were gears, as if she was inside the makings of a grandfather clock in some twisted way. When your clock is out of time, it starts to fall apart. At least that was the girl's take on things; how she knew this amazed even herself, like someone was telling it to her.
It seemed like the broken clock pieces just float in the space, forever broken, which gave the girl a strange feeling inside. Like the clock was going deep into her soul, reading it like a book, and that thought scared her.
At least this place didn't have scary faces or a stupid cat; it was better than the place she was before, but something... or someone... was missing. As she stood there, stuck in thought, a voice came from on top of the clock. Not her clock or their clock but his own clock, his own time.
In fact, this whole space was just clocks of others and their own... confusing, right? It indeed confused herself thinking it, even if she didn't know how she knew this.
"Be careful now, your clock might start at any moment, love. Watch out for floating pieces too, you'll hurt yourself if they hit you." a voice in a calming british accent said.
It wasn't like that boy who brought light into her world's voice, but a more cool spring breeze kind of voice. He was stunning, not in the hot beautiful way that stupid cat was, but he was beautiful, like out of a painting. His long white hair was tied into a ponytail and wore black colored glasses, his baby blue eyes looked so innocent. He had a beauty mark on the right side of his cheek, which in her opinion gave him a Victorian vibe.
"Will you tell me who you are?" she asked, looking above, for his clock was a little far from where she was. It was above but not too high up, perfectly placed where it needed to be.
"Of course, any fine gentleman would, I apologize for not doing it any sooner! My name is Sir Wyatt the Rabbit, pleased to meet you, love!" Wyatt said as he bowed, putting his hand on his heart.
She was stuck in a daze, he was such a prince type - so cool, so calm. Which reminded her of her so-called brother, he too acted calm towards her. She didn't know how to get to the place she needed to once again see her (maybe) brother, but she was willing to do whatever to reach him like he did to her; it would be like paying a favor back.
"Excuse me Mr. Wyatt sir, could you–" She tried to say but was cut off.
Her clock started to rattle and the gears started to turn. Time was up. The huge hand started to move; it was clear she would have to jump with everything she had if she wanted to avoid being slammed by it. She groaned; she hated doing effort, especially for sporty things. But that wasn't the issue - well, it was - but she needed to talk to Wyatt, and somehow jump over the hand when it came to her each time.
The first time the long black hand came at her fast, she jumped, tumbling over it, as she couldn't jump very high. Every time she would jump the hand, one of the random clocks would make a loud ringing sound.
"You were saying, love?" Wyatt gave an innocent smile as he tilted his head in confusion as to why she stopped.
"Do you think I can find out where I need to go or the person I need to go to if I first figure out myself?" She said between breaths after jumping over the clock hand as she looked up at him.
"Indeed, I do believe that to be true. Time works as a highway for us to pave ourselves, but to pave ourselves one must know one's own self before trying to determine how to work on the highway of time." Wyatt said smiling.
Time was like a highway. So all she had to do is get on the right highway and she would know the next step. But did he mean an actual highway or just metaphorically? There was only one way to find out; she went to go on the edge of her clock to look down, and there it was, many roads leading to everything and nothing, everywhere and nowhere.
Distracted by this, the hand swung around, and before she realized it, it pushed her off, only her right hand held onto the clock. It didn't hurt to hold on, it was like a dream, she couldn't feel any pain. Why? She shook her head, that wasn't the issue right now, the issue was her falling. The highways had gears, old fashioned looking machines floating fast on each paved way. Even if she survived the fall, one of them would hit her and it would be for sure over.
Wyatt. That's the only answer. He would have to leave his clock to come to hers.
"Wyatt!" she yelled. "Help me!" her voice sounded scared.
"With what? Just fall, it'll be alright." He said calmly, somehow he had gotten ahold of some tea and was sipping it as he stood looking down on her.
This boy had to have been out of his mind. Did he not realize what was happening?
"Wyatt, please! I don't want to fall! I'm scared." she squeezed her eyes closed, turning pale.
Wyatt's smile never faded, as if he knew this would happen. He slowly jumped down like gravity wasn't a thing here, which would make sense... I mean, there are floating clocks all around her, it wouldn't be surprising.
"As you wish, Alice" Wyatt said as he grabbed onto her hand.
There it was again, that name... surely you would have to believe that's your name if everyone is calling it, but she knew deep inside, it was a lie. It wasn't her, it was like everyone was pretending she was someone she wasn't. A bitter feeling of hate began to fill her for that name.
Before Wyatt could pull the girl up, all the clocks, including hers, rang; somehow without realizing it, all the clocks had stopped once Wyatt left his, including her own. But why was that?
The calm, collected "prince" persona quickly changed into an anxious and more shy character. He quickly let go of the girl's hand, letting her fall far, far, down.
"I'll be late! The princess will be oh so angry with me, I'm always so so late! She said if I was late again I'll be beheaded!--"" He cried as he paced around.
"Quickly we must be quick or else we'll be la–" he looked down to where she was holding onto, and saw that she was no longer there. He looked confused, before rushing off to somewhere within time.
As Wyatt did that, the girl was still falling... when would she stop? She was nervous to find out.
She finally landed hard on some gear, clock looking car; it was fast, very fast, and she had to hold on to the sides of whatever she was on or else she might fly away. Even if this wasn't the way she needed to go, there was no turning back now. After passing by clock after clock, memory after memory, it was as if she was losing herself in time. Bright lights passed her and she wondered to herself if this was the end. Right before she was ready to just close her eyes and let this insane feeling sink in, the car stopped.
She opened her eyes fully and realized she wasn't in the weird time space anymore. She was somewhere else, which seemed like a darkly-lit amusement park, and in front of her was a funhouse kind of building. She quickly hopped off the car, nervous it might take off somewhere worse and started to walk into the fun house.
As she entered, the dark glassy area had a strange beauty rather than horror to it. Each of these mirrors reflected who you were, and no one else. The weird part was, the mirrors were blurry, so you couldn't see yourself clearly. The only reasoning the girl came up with is that the park must be old, so maintenance likely doesn't clean the fun house anymore.
That was until she heard two people giggling strangely in sync and alike, and by any luck, it would happen to be someone like Chester. The girl groaned just thinking about it.
"Did you hear? That girl can't even remember her own name..." the one on her left side spoke as she walked through the fun house. The more she walked, the more they spoke.
"She's so stupid! Doesn't she know her name is Alice" the other one mocked her on her right.
Never mind, that stupid cat was better compared to these idiots. It was like having brats on both sides of you, but you can't even shut them up because you don't know where they are. It was like they were inside the mirrors; She would see something pass in the side view of her eyes but she couldn't get a good look at them.
"Hey Alice, let's play a game!" the voice on her left said, after which the voice on her right added,
"Yeah, it'll be fun, if you win, we'll tell you whatever you want."
"But if we win, you give us that piece of chocolate in your pocket and you get to stay here forever!" the other voice said excitedly.
Chocolate? Since when did she have chocolate in her pocket? The girl looked in her pockets as the two spoke, and there it was indeed, a piece of chocolate.
The girl thought to herself, it was a 50/50 chance game, knowing they could make this game anything, but she needed to know something even if that something wasn't clear to her; her mind was lost in a daze just thinking about it. This also could be a trap, which would be stupid to fall for, but...
"Okay, but first show yourself," She said firmly.
If she couldn't pick the game then she would at least add some of her own conditions.
"You'll need it anyway" one of them said,
But she had lost count of which voice was whose. It was like when Chester was spinning around her, switching places each time they talked.
The two showed themselves within the mirrors in front of where the girl was standing. They looked around her age, short, dark brown hair with pale skin and dark brown eyes; both had a feather on one side, it was red with little touches of blue.
"The game is simple, can you tell the difference between us?" The one standing on the left asked.
"One of us has something the other does not, can you guess it?" the right one said, following once again.
They looked like copies of each other. What would be different? The girl looked at the reflection of the mirror which somehow showed the twins, but blurred her out for some odd reason. She looked everywhere on them, the clothes, the hair, the feather. What was she missing? She wasn't born with the talent to reach deep within her heart and use that to magically tell the difference between them; she just happened to pass by, she was the crowd in this case or standing.
The girl was about to give up when she realized something in the mirror. They wore hoodies, which is nice if it were a part of an outfit or it's cold, but that wasn't it; it was fairly hot where they were, and these two didn't seem like the type to care about what they were wearing. There was a reason for the hoodie. It could be trying to point her in the right direction but that would make zero sense; hiding wouldn't either, unless one of them had something in their pocket while the other didn't.
It was too risky. If she got this wrong, it was over. She had to figure something else out. She looked around the glass-filled room. The white and black checker floor was surprisingly shiny, and she could glimpse a little bit of her reflection, her short cut hair she long forgot about and her green eyes which you could barely see. She made up her mind.
If she couldn't win the game, she would make the game end with her. The girl saw a small rock in one of the corners near her and grabbed it, throwing it at the twins' mirrors. The glass started to crack, the twins looked confused at first but then started to laugh. They spun around her in the remaining mirrors. She was so done with it, she started to break each mirror until there was just one left.
The twins didn't appear in the last mirror; either they were actually in the funhouse and now they were hiding, or they were in a whole different place... didn't really matter to her much.
"Don't you want to see what you truly look like?"
Why not keep this mirror, Alice?
She did want to see what she looked like before she ended the game for good, but what were these twins planning?
The girl allowed the twins to clear the blur, only to reveal a long haired blonde with bright blue eyes and a blue and white dress like hers. That couldn't be her and she knew it; only an idiot would fall for this. Those brats took it too far, playing with others' feelings.
"That's not me... I'm not some game! I'm a human being too you know, I can think for myself and I know myself!" she yelled, her bright green eyes glistened with a light the twins had never seen before.
The girl threw the rock at the last mirror watching it shatter; this time though, the pieces started to float, like time was slowing down. Each shard had memories she didn't even remember having, or maybe they were memories to be, or even different fates on the highway of time. In the middle of the shards where once was a mirror was a bright light, like a door leading out.
"I finally know my name...My name is...!" she said as she jumped in the light.
She opened her eyes slowly and faced her bedroom ceiling, as she said in a soft tone,
"Lilac."
An hourglass has two sides but not everyone one of them is on a stage.
Thank you so much for your support!
