The Train Game 〜電車ごっこ〜
The dreaded final exams were finally only a week away.
“Sotoko, sorry—could you help me with this for a sec?”
Asuka appeared at my desk with a math workbook in hand.
“Oh, this one?”
I explained the basic idea behind the problem, only for her to point to another one.
“Then what about this?”
I glanced up at her. Behind her silver-rimmed glasses, her eyes practically screamed, Help. Math is killing me.
“Well, I guess I can help.”
We agreed to meet at the library after school.
I sent my brother a message.
“Sorry, I'll be home a little late. Heat up the takikomi rice and eat first. I'll make something proper when I get back.”
A reply came almost immediately.
“Kay.”
After classes ended, I finished my cleaning duty and headed for the library.
The study room was packed with students from Ehime High, but Asuka had already secured two seats. The moment she spotted me, she waved both hands over her head.
“Did you wait long?”
“Oh, forever. Absolutely forever.”
I couldn't help smiling.
She was kind of adorable.
The problems Asuka brought weren't easy, exactly. But most of them became surprisingly straightforward once you approached them from the right angle.
“What is this even supposed to be?” she groaned. “These questions are so sneaky.”
“Right? It's like they're showing you something white while secretly asking about something red.”
Asuka let out a dramatic sigh and stared up at the ceiling.
“That's important too, but—”
I flipped open the textbook.
“You should definitely review this section.”
I pointed to a page.
“And this one.”
Then another.
“And these two.”
There were four topics in total.
“How do you know those are gonna be on the exam?”
“How do I know?” I shrugged. “Isn't our homeroom teacher kind of obvious? Every time he gets unusually enthusiastic during class, it ends up on the test.”
“Seriously?”
Asuka looked genuinely bewildered.
“The stuff I asked you about today—will that be on the exam?”
“Hm.”
That might have been the hardest question she'd asked all afternoon.
“I can't say for sure. But if we're talking probability... honestly? Not that high.”
“Whaaat?”
Asuka collapsed face-first onto the table.
We spent the next couple of hours working through every problem related to the four topics I was certain would be on the test.
There were plenty of variations and application problems, too. All in all, it felt like a productive study session.
When we finally left the library, Asuka let out a long sigh.
“Maybe I’ve just been wasting my time.”
“Wasting your time?”
“Yeah.”
I shrugged.
“Or you could call it trial and error. Nobody gets everything right from the start.”
Asuka glanced sideways at me.
“Soto, you do all the housework at home, right? How do you even find time to study?”
“How do I find time?” I thought about it. “Most of my studying happens during class.”
“During class?”
“Well, we're at school for hours every day. It seems like a waste not to use that time.”
“So you just... learn everything while the teacher's talking?”
“As much as I can. Then when I get home, I only have to review the parts I didn't fully understand.”
“But with all the stuff you do at home, do you really have enough time?”
“I don't have any club activities.”
To be honest, there were times when I envied the passion people poured into high school clubs.
That intense feeling of belonging somewhere. Spending hours every day with the same group of friends.
But if I couldn't have that kind of time, then I'd simply have to find something equally meaningful in my own way.
“I used to be pretty confident about my grades.”
Asuka started talking without really looking at me.
“I always thought getting into Ehime High was a given. Back in middle school, everything felt easy.”
She kicked at a pebble on the sidewalk.
“But then I came here, and suddenly the classes move so fast. Everything's harder. I don't know... I've started losing confidence.”
“Well, isn't that true for everybody?”
I laughed.
“I was completely overwhelmed when I first got here.”
“Yeah, but you're handling it.”
“Am I?”
Clack-clack. Clack-clack-clack.
A memory surfaced.
My brother and I were sitting on the living room floor with an atlas spread open between us.
“Next stop—Himeji. Himeji Station.”
My brother was pretending to be a train conductor.
“We are now crossing the Yoshii River.”
ROOOOAAARRRR.
He supplied the sound effects himself.
“Ladies and gentlemen, our train is currently traveling across the Harima Plain. We will soon be arriving at Himeji.”
Then he leaned toward me and whispered,
“Your turn. Announcement.”
I picked up a stick and held it like a microphone.
“Ladies and gentlemen, visible on your left is the World Heritage Site and National Treasure, Himeji Castle.”
“Himeji, Himeji. Our next stop will be Shin-Kobe.”
“And visible on your right is one of the world's largest suspension bridges—the Akashi Kaikyō Bridge.”
Mother had still been alive back then.
I must have been in the lower grades of elementary school.
For a while, my brother and I had been obsessed with taking imaginary trips around Japan.
Because of that, geography had settled naturally into my head.
Not just place names, either.
I learned how one city connected to another, which routes people traveled, what lay between destinations.
Maybe that's why I still have a good sense of how places relate to one another.
Even now, I suspect I owe that to all those imaginary train rides from long ago.
When my brother helped me with math, there was one thing he always asked.
“Did you actually read the problem?”
Trying to force a formula onto a question before understanding what it was asking was pointless.
It sounded obvious.
But surprisingly often, it wasn't.
So I got into the habit of reading carefully first.
What exactly is this question asking?
That became the starting point.
Maybe I learned that habit because every time I got stuck, my brother made me stop and think before giving me the answer.
As I listened to Asuka talking, memories kept surfacing one after another.
Things I had never consciously thought about before.
Little habits.
Ways of thinking.
Small lessons absorbed without realizing it.
One by one, they had accumulated somewhere inside me.
And together, they had become the person I was now.
“If you took studying away from me,” Asuka said suddenly, “what would even be left?”
“What is this? Exam depression?”
“Maybe I got full of myself because I always had good grades.”
“If that's what you think, then maybe that's fine.”
She stopped walking.
“That's fine?”
“Yeah.”
“That makes no sense.”
I smiled.
“If you really think you've been getting complacent, then all you can do is start taking things seriously again.”
“...Soto, you're kind of harsh.”
“But you're the one who said it.”
I looked at her.
“If you've already noticed it, then isn't now the best time to start?”
Asuka let out a small sigh.
さあいよいよ、来週から恐怖の期末試験がはじまる。という金曜日のお昼休み。
「衣通子、ごめん、ちょっとここ教えてほしいんだけど」
明日香ちゃんが数学の問題集を持ってきた。
「ああ、これはね」
と考え方を伝えると、「これは？」と別の問題も聞いてくる。
顔を見た。銀縁メガネ越しに、数学ヤバいんですって、訴えかけるような瞳があった。
「しょうがないわねえ」
放課後、近くの図書館で落ち合う約束をした。お兄ちゃんには「ごめん、ちょっと遅くなるから、炊き込みごはんチンして食べといて。あとでちゃんとしたの作るから」と送った。「へーい」とだけ返事が来た。
授業が終わって、当番の掃除を済ませて、図書館に向かう。
自習室は媛高生でいっぱいだったけど、明日香ちゃんはしっかり二人分の席取りをしていて、わたしに大きく手を振った。
「待った？」
「もう、待った待った」
ふふ、かわいい。
明日香ちゃんの聞いてきた問題は、それなりに厄介な問題ではあったが、発想の置き方次第でスッと解ける問題ばかりだった。
「なんなの、このひっかけ」
「やらしいよね。白って見せかけて、実は赤を聞いてました、みたいなのだから」
明日香ちゃんは「ふーっ」と大きな息を吐いて、天井を見上げた。
「そこもいいんだけど」
わたしは教科書をバサっと広げて
「ここ出るから、やっといたほうがいいよ」
と指で示した。
「それから、ここも出る」
わたしは確信をもって四つ示した。
「えー、どうしてんなことわかるの？」
「どうして？ だってうちの担任わかりやすくない？ 授業で、やったら力入れてたとこ、絶対試験に出てたじゃない」
「そうなの？」
明日香ちゃんは明らかに戸惑ったかおをした。
「今日、あたしが聞いたとこって、試験に出る？」
「うーん、それ、今日一番の難しい質問・・・でも、出るかどうかわかんないけど、可能性は、そうねえ、あんまないかもね」
「えーっ」
明日香ちゃんは机に突っ伏してしまった。
確信をもって出ると伝えた四つに関連する問題を、わたしたちは解きまくった。
いろいろな応用問題もあって、試験対策としてはそれなりに充実した時間だった。
図書館を後にする。明日香ちゃんがため息をついた。
「あたし、ムダなことばっかしてたのかも」
「ムダなこと？ 試行錯誤って思えばいいんじゃない？ 誰だって最初からうまくゆくことばっかなんてないよ」
「そとーって、家のこと、みんなやってるんでしょ？ 勉強する時間どうやって作ってるの？」
「どうやって？ 勉強する時間は授業中がメインだよ。学校来て、一日に何時間もかけてんだから」
「授業中に頭に入れちゃうの？」
「できるだけね。だから、理解できなかったとこだけやるようにしてる」
「家のことやってて、時間なんてあるの？」
「明日香と違って、部活やってないからね」
高校の部活の熱には、正直なところ、憧れがないわけではない。授業とは別に、仲間と過ごす濃密な時間。でも、同じ濃密な時間を、わたしはわたしで見出せばいい。
「あたしね、勉強にはちょっと自信あったんだ」
明日香ちゃんは聞くともなく喋りはじめた。
「媛高だって、入るの当たり前だって思ってたし、中学の勉強なんて軽い軽いって思ってた。でも、この学校に来たら、授業のスピード早いわ、中身濃いわで、自信なくなってきちゃって」
「まあ、それは誰だって同じじゃない？ わたしだって最初すっごく面食らったもん」
「でも、そとーはちゃんとこなしてるよね」
「こなしてるかどうかはわかんないけど」
ガタンガタンガタンゴトン
リビングに地図帳を広げて、お兄ちゃんとふたり座っていた。
「次はあ、姫路ぃ、姫路でございますぅ」
お兄ちゃんが車掌を真似る。
「列車はただいま吉井川を通過いたします」
ごおおおおおおお
「皆さま、列車はただいま播磨平野を走っております。まもなく姫路でございます」
そこでわたしに「案内、案内」と小さな声。わたしはマイクに見立てた棒を手に
「皆さま、左手に見えて参りますのが、世界遺産の国宝・姫路城でございます」
と声を出す。
「姫路ぃ、姫路ぃ、次の停車駅は新神戸でございますぅ」
「右手に見えて参りますのは、世界最大級の吊り橋、明石海峡大橋でごさいますぅ」
まだ母が生きていた頃だから、小学校の低学年だったろう。兄妹ふたりで日本全国の仮想旅行にはまったことがあった。それで地理は一発で頭の中に入った。だけでなく、どこからどこに行くのにどう通るのか、道中なにがあるのかを、自然と意識するようになった。世界の位置関係が今わかるのは、幼い頃のガタンゴトンがあるからだ。
数学は「ちゃんと問題文読んだか？」とよく聞かれた。
問われている内容をよく把握しないまま、公式を当てはめようとしても、意味がない。
当たり前のことなんだけど、案外できていなかったりする。だから、問題文をしっかり読んで、なにを問われているのか、まずそこを確認する。そんなクセがついたのも、お兄ちゃんにわからないところを聞いたから。
明日香ちゃんと話しながら、古い記憶とともに頭の中に浮かんだ諸々。ぜんぜん意識してなかったけど、知らず知らず習慣化してることがあるんだろうな。それらが積み重なって、今のわたしになってる。
「あたしから勉強取ったら、なにが残るんだろ」
「なに明日香、試験ブルー？」
「中学まで成績いいからって、いい気になってたかも」
「そう思うんなら、それでいいんじゃない？」
「それでいい？」
「うん」
「意味わかんない」
「もし、いい気になってたんなら、もう一度しっかりやるしかないよね」
「・・・そとー、きびしくない？」
「だって、明日香がそう思うんでしょ？ 思ったときが始めどきだと、わたしは思うけど」
明日香ちゃんは小さなため息をついた。
