A Healed Heart
“Are you sure you’re alright with this?”
“I mean, are you planning on cheating on me?”
“Never!”
“Then go, you shouldn’t be late to this.”
“It’s fine if you come with.”
“I’ve got my shows that I missed this week to catch up on.”
Rika looked at Yuki cautiously.
“You’re nervous.”
Rika scoffed and looked away, denying Yuki’s observation.
“No way...”
She then looked at the floor, a cold sweat formed on her neck.
“I am.”
Yuki took her hands.
“Don’t be, just talk to her.”
Rika still looked torn, trying to figure out how she would even begin the conversation.
“It’ll be fine.”
Rika finally looked up from the floor, Yuki’s gaze comforted her.
“Thanks.”
Yuki smiled, and Rika turned to leave.
“Kiss me goodbye!”
Rika spun on her heel and quickly kissed Yuki before leaving.
“I haven’t gotten used to that.”
Yuki smiled.
“I have.”
Mary sat nervously in a trendy cafe, waiting for Rika to show. Last week she had been extremely nervous trying to write a message to Rika, only to be surprised that she wrote to her.
She wasn’t exactly sure what Rika wanted to talk about, only it had to do with their past. A part of her wished she would confess to her all these years later, and she felt guilty for it.
Mary was lost in her own selfish thoughts, not noticing Rika walk up to the table Mary had gotten for them.
“Hello.”
Mary was startled, then blushed when she realized it was Rika.
“Hello!”
In a flustered manner, Mary stood up halfway then paused. She didn’t know if she should bow, shake her hand, or hug her.
At the very same time Rika was having the same dilemma.
“How about a hug?”
Mary laughed, still embarrassed.
“Ok.”
They hugged as old friends would, which they both found slightly strange. It was an awkward sort of warmth, reminding both of them of another time in their lives.
They both sat in their chairs blushing and not knowing what to say.
“We should... Maybe get some coffee?”
Mary looked up from twiddling her thumbs.
“Y- yes!”
Mary paused for a moment, she felt her tone wasn’t right, maybe a bit too excited. She changed her mode to something more serious.
“That would be good.”
Rika smiled nervously.
/She sounds so formal. Do I need to be too?/
“Let’s go then.”
They both awkwardly stood and walked to the counter, ordering two espresso drinks.
They both sat back down in their chairs, quietly sipping their drinks.
/We still are talking. I need to say something./
/I’ll just break the ice, it’ll only get worse if I wait./
“I’m glad you’re he-.”
They both realized their jinx and giggled.
“I’m sorry, I just needed to say something.”
“Me too.”
Rika smiled nervously.
“I’ll go first?”
Mary nodded.
Rika took a deep breath.
“Ok. I want to talk to you about our breakup.”
Mary’s face turned red, she hardly knew what to say.
“Ahhh, s- sure.”
“Ok, I was thinking back to when we I called you to the roof. I thought, that was a mutual breakup, for the longest time. Really though, I dumped you and never spoke to you again.”
Rika’s voice cracked on the last word.
Mary had been staring into her cup, but looked up at Rika.
A couple of tears rolled down her cheek.
“I’m sorry.”
Mary hadn’t expected Rika to cry.
“I- it’s ok, really!”
Rika shook her head and more tears fell.
“You were always so kind and accepting, and I was really horrible to you.”
Rika sniffled.
“I understand if you hate me.”
Mary waved her hands.
“I don’t hate you at all! But...”
She rested her hands on the table, her mood more somber.
“I was really sad for a long time... and confused. Maybe, I still am.”
Mary felt tears well in her own eyes, she hadn’t thought about those feelings in a long time. But she had felt them.
“I never said why did I.”
Mary shook her head.
“I would like to know.”
Rika dabbed away her tears.
“Ok.”
Mary and she looked into one another’s eyes as they had that day on the rooftop.
“I felt we are too different, you’re kind and free spirited, I’m gloomy and stuck up. I won’t ever be able to make you happy like you make others. We all knew you had a big future ahead of you, but for me... I had to find mine still.”
Mary’s tears fell on her cheeks after Rika finished.
“Thank you... Though, I have to admit it feels like I’m getting dumped again.”
Rika looked down at her coffee guilty.
“But.”
Mary smiled and tilted her head to the side.
“That’s part of life right?”
Rika nodded.
“Y- you wanted to say something also?”
“Yes. Although it seems sort of stupid now, or more stupid.”
“No, please say it.”
Mary had been trying to find the say for a week.
“I’m sorry for hitting on you at the concert, I didn’t realize you and Yuki were dating. I felt awful when I did.”
“It’s okay.”
“Well... There has been a part of me that still had feelings for you, I still do.”
She laughed nervously.
“It sounds ridiculous out loud, but. Even with others you still were on my mind. It might have been because it was first love, but maybe it was also you were the only one who I can say I did love...”
After saying the last of her words Mary put a hand over her mouth.
“I actually just said that out loud.”
She was expecting Rika to react with disgust, but Rika didn’t react negatively at all. Instead tears filled her eyes once more.
“I- I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.”
Rika stood up from her chair, Mary bracing for her to simply leave. Instead Rika hugged her warmly from across the table. Mary wasn’t expecting it at all, and didn’t really know what to do. Eventually though she hugged her back. Rika’s hair still smelled like it did in high school, and she hugged the same way.
“You were the first person I ever loved.”
“But, it wasn’t meant to be.”
“No it wasn’t, but it’s not something that has to be forgotten.”
They hugged for a few moments longer and Rika sat back down.
Mary smiled.
“You’ll find someone, and you’ll know because of then.”
Mary smiled, feeling a long held weight lifted from her chest.
“You and Yuki seem perfect for one another, even from the few moments I got to spend with her.”
Rika nodded.
“She’s my one.”
“I hope I’ll find what you two have.”
“You will, you’re quite the catch, from experience.”
Mary blushed.
“You are too, and Yuki is very cute also.”
Rika now blushed, thinking about Yuki.
“Yes she is.”
“I hope she doesn’t dislike me now, from the other night.”
“Actually she thinks you’re really nice. This was actually her idea.”
Mary smiled.
“She’s very nice.”
Mary looked down at her coffee, it was still nearly empty.
“Are you leaving now or...”
“Actually I was hoping we could catch up?”
Mary looked up and smiled.
“That sounds great.”
