Chapter 1 — “Sickeningly Sweet”
“—Guh.”
I felt a jolt to my shoulder as my body was shoved to the side. Hitting the locker, a groan spilled from my throat, momentarily dizzying my vision. It took me a moment to recover before I finally regained my balance.
Turning toward the perpetrator, I watched him walk away without even sparing a simple glance. I wouldn’t be surprised if he found I was in his way. That was usually how things go around here.
“Hey, Jason!”
My attention immediately turned towards the high-pitched voice, the source of which was a girl I had grown quite familiar with. Not out of any choice of my own, but familiar was familiar.
“Guess you’re so small he couldn’t see you.”
With those mocking words, she let out a derisive giggle that held no warmth. It was a shrill, grating sound that was a curse upon my ears, but one I had to endure on a day-to-day basis.
“What do you want, Elaine?”
My voice didn’t carry the strength I wanted it to. Nor could my eyes meet hers, exacerbated by the embarrassed heat of my cheeks, which I tried so desperately to hide.
“Mmm… what do I want?”
Her eyes, now pinned on my face, narrowed. She lifted a finger to her chin, obviously trying to seem cute. Elaine was a classic “popular” girl at Greenville High, wearing what everyone else was wearing, acting how everyone else was acting, all with a lack of originality I found myself shying away from. To be so alike another person sounded too constricting for me.
And of course, that hesitance to conform was one of the main reasons why social isolation was an easier fate to follow.
I don’t like how pretentious that makes me sound.
“Are you going to tell me what you want?”
“Who says I want anything?”
“Then why are you still speaking to me?”
I didn’t say I completely lacked a spine, but my voice apparently still did not want to follow my mind. The shakiness of it did nothing to hide my own timidness. And her smile widened when she heard me falter.
“Maybe it’s because you have nobody else to talk to.”
Who was I kidding? Of course she had people to talk to. My brain could not come up with anything better in my flustered state, so I just resorted to lying out of my ass.
“Huh? Are you serious?”
She shook her head as she processed those words.
“I’m just doing you a favor by talking to you instead.”
“A favor, huh? Can you do me another favor by leaving me alone?”
Looking back, this might be the worst conversation I’ve ever had. I really wanted to run away at that point, but I had to keep some of my dignity. And if I gave her more ammunition, I knew she would use it against me the next time we saw each other.
“Damn, you really are a dork.”
Letting out a snort, she began walking past me, making sure to leave me with one final—
“Guh!”
Once again, my shoulder was bashed against the locker. Her posture straightened, accentuating the generous swell of her breasts as she whipped her lengthy brown hair around. With a “hmph,” she walked away without another word.
I really hated girls like those.
“I wish real girls acted like the ones in manga.”
Even though I knew those words sounded pathetic, I couldn’t help but mutter them under my breath with childish vitriol. If anyone heard that, they’d definitely start making fun of me. But at this point I was too upset to care.
“I just want to go home.”
× × ×
“—ey!”
My vision blurred as my consciousness returned, violently wrenching me from the world of slumber I was lost in. And I was having such a good dream, too. I was a second away from kissing a girl who looked suspiciously like Elaine.
On second thought, I didn’t know how to feel about that. Was that actually a nightmare instead?
“Hey!”
The voice shook me out of my reverie, forcing my gaze upwards as my eyes snapped open; I bore witness to the towering figure creeping over me. His long, inky-black hair swayed as he leaned toward me, eyes narrowing in barely contained irritation.
“Dude, wake up. The bell rang. What happened to running some games after class?”
“Don’t we have homework, though?”
“You, of all people, should not be talking about homework. I have never seen you pick up a single pencil at home.”
“Thwarted again…”
Once again, he wouldn’t let me get away with spending all night alone reading manga.
“Come on. Pick your lazy ass up.”
Jack was the kind of guy who couldn’t care less what others thought. I suppose I was the same way, but unlike him, I could barely hold a conversation.
He was a bigger guy, around six feet. His large form allowed him to get away with a lot more, as nobody wanted to mess with him. He was also a lot more outgoing than I was, so he wasn’t nearly as awkward in social settings.
I finally picked myself up, following him outside of the classroom as we headed to the school gate.
“You said you got a new game, right? A new shooter?”
“More like THE new shooter.”
“Don’t you mean the same game as last year?”
He leaned towards me, putting his mouth to my ear. His tone of voice shifted, attempting to seem more serious.
“But I hear the zombies mode is good this time around.”
I shook my head and slapped my hand to my forehead.
“Aren’t they just rereleasing the same maps as last year? What’s even new?”
“Uh, the graphics, obviously? Something called ‘ray tracing.’”
“Do you even know what that is? Seriously, you’ll just buy anything they put out…”
If only I could steal his computer away from him. Seriously, what did he need such high-end stuff for?
We exited the school, stepping into the brisk Spring weather that was unfortunately going to fade away in the coming weeks. When summer came along, I was sure to miss it.
As soon as I thought that, a burning in my chest erupted. My eyes shot open, and I was unable to articulate the sensation, stopping me in place.
The heat was almost painful, bordering on unbearable, before it mellowed into something warm that filled me with unbridled energy I had not felt before. It spread throughout my body, galvanizing an instinct that etched into my soul, making me aware of something I had not acknowledged until now.
A rapturous feeling snapped into me, a new sense of awareness, my knees buckling at the disorientation. Jack had to steady me before I fell over.
“Whoa, Jason, you okay?”
“—Kuh… Y-yeah, I’m fine. What… the hell?”
“You sure? Your face is completely pale.”
“Nah, seriously, I’m alright. Just choked on my spit.”
Jack let out a sigh, shaking his head as he resumed walking.
“Pretty dramatic for something like th—”
“—HEEEYYY!!!”
In that moment, a familiar high-pitched voice invaded our ears at a volume that far exceeded anything appropriate for public conversation.
Footsteps reverberated from behind us, but for some reason I didn’t immediately turn around. Judging from the voice, the speaker was definitely a girl.
“Jack, have you been talking to a girl without telling me?”
After all, if there was anyone who had a chance of getting a girlfriend, it would definitely be him. She must have been really excited to see him.
Jack frowned at that.
“Huh, what are you talking about? I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.”
“What do you mean?”
I turned around, gazing upon Elaine, who was jogging to catch up to us. But unlike the sneer she usually gave me, she was… smiling? It wasn’t a normal smile, though. Something felt off about it.
“Out of any girl, why did you have to choose her?”
“No, I’m being serious—”
He was interrupted by Elaine stopping in front of us, her sparkling hazel eyes tinged with glee I’d never seen from her. She stood straight up, her arms wrapped behind her back as she tilted her head slightly.
The weirdest part was that she was looking right at me. But I was used to ploys like these. When she’d act nice to get something out of me.
Whatever she wanted from me, she could—
“I finally caught up to you! I was looking all over for you.”
—forget it.
Even Jack could hardly believe his eyes, glancing over to me in marvel, as if the thought of Elaine looking that happy to see me was too much for his brain to process.
“Hey, look, I know this might seem sudden, but…”
My eyes narrowed as a sickeningly sweet feeling enshrouded my stomach, dampening the earlier rapture.
“Would you, maybe, wanna go out with me?”
