4-18 “A big ego is not a sign that one likes oneself, but just the opposite”
4-18 “A big ego is not a sign that one likes oneself, but just the opposite”
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> God: A big ego is not a sign that one likes oneself, but just the opposite.
>
> If people "brag" and "show off" a lot, it raises the question, what do they dislike about themselves so much that they feel they have to get others to like them in order to compensate?
>
> Neale: So you mean I really don't like myself that much, and I'm trying to compensate for a lack of self-love by substituting the love of others?
>
> God: Only you can know that.
>
> (Friendship With God, Chapter 5)
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In *Conversations with God*, God makes a striking observation: when we see someone constantly boasting or showing off, we might wonder, "What is it about themselves that they dislike so much that they need the approval of others?"
In response, Neale asks, "Are you saying that I do not really love myself very much, and that I am trying to make up for a lack of self-love by seeking the love of others?"
This idea is closely related to the psychological concepts of superiority and inferiority.
Psychology often teaches that feelings of superiority are merely the reverse side of feelings of inferiority. People who feel inadequate in some area of their lives may try to compensate by appearing superior, important, or worthy in the eyes of others.
The same principle applies when we find ourselves looking down on others. Whenever feelings of contempt, criticism, or superiority arise, they may be reflecting something within ourselves that we have not yet fully accepted.
Rather than focusing on the faults of others, such moments invite us to look inward. What insecurity, fear, or sense of inadequacy within ourselves is being revealed?
In this sense, other people can become mirrors that help us recognize aspects of ourselves that still need healing and acceptance.
An old Japanese saying expresses this wisdom well: "Correct your own behavior by observing the behavior of others."
When we use our reactions to others as opportunities for self-examination, we take an important step toward greater self-awareness, self-acceptance, and genuine inner peace.
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