The Classmate I Envy
I had a light dinner, then soaked in the bath. While I was washing up, my reflection caught my eye in the mirror—my slender body. …It’s so straight. No curves at all. Thin arms, a flat chest.
And then there’s Sotoko-chan… with her soft, rounded figure.
Ugh, I hate this. All I can see are the things she has that I don’t. All I feel is this stupid inferiority complex.
Every morning, there’s this pair—a boy and a girl—walking to school side by side. A tall, good-looking guy, and next to him, a plain girl with thick black-rimmed glasses.
I don’t even remember the first time I saw them. White shirts, short-sleeved sailor-fuku uniform… I just remember thinking, Wait, that plain girl from my class is dating a guy like that?
High school is amazing, I thought, kind of naively. Maybe I’ll get a boyfriend like that too someday…
After that, I couldn’t help but notice her. But our seats were far apart, and I never really got the chance to talk to her.
They showed up together every single day. And there was no tension between them at all. It didn’t look like they were playing any kind of romantic games, or trying to impress each other. If anything, she showed him expressions she never showed in class—unguarded, completely at ease.
That must be her real self. And he accepted it just as naturally.
Sometimes, other girls from our class would step into their space—girls who were already close to her. It was obvious at least some of them had a thing for him. But even then, she never looked bothered. She had this unshakable trust and confidence in what they had.
And it was the same for him. Even when his friends from the year above barged in, he handled it so casually. Like the two of them were already a unit, facing the world together.
“Hey, hold still. Don’t move, okay?”
I heard a familiar voice while I was changing into my indoor shoes. When I looked over, there she was—crouched beside him, pulling out a needle and thread.
Looks like something on his uniform pants had torn—she was sewing it up while he was still standing. Her gaze was so focused, and he just stood there quietly, looking kind of lost and innocent. At the end, she bit the thread to cut it.
“Okay, done. You’re good now.”
She stood up and left like it was nothing. He followed not long after. A few guys nearby were watching with these obviously jealous looks.
—
Even though they always came to school together, she’d leave on her own right after classes. That always felt kind of strange. No club activities, yet she’d rush off somewhere—where to? Cram school? Probably not. I mean, at Hime High, just keeping up with assignments is already a lot.
They were always together in the morning, but separate after school. And even at school, they were rarely seen together.
Honestly, compared to those typical couples who are glued to each other every chance they get, these two felt way more deeply connected.
—
When I found out they were siblings…
…it made sense. If you’ve grown up together, waking up under the same roof every day since you were little, I guess that kind of natural closeness just comes with it.
But still.
Are all siblings that close? I wouldn’t know—I’m an only child.
Some of my friends treat their brothers like total idiots, and some even call them “gross” and can’t stand them. I guess every family’s different.
What really surprised me, though, was that she basically handles all the housework.
“You always head home so early—do you have lessons or something?”
“Nope, I just need to make dinner.”
“Dinner? Wait—you cook?”
“Yeah. We don’t have a mom at home.”
Oh… I see.
“So you make lunchboxes too?”
“Yeah, for two people.”
Two?
“For my brother too.”
So that good-looking guy… gets a homemade lunch from her every single day.
“I pack like two cups of rice in a container.”
“Two cups? Wow, he eats that much?”
“It’s more like he has to. For club.”
“Club? He’s in the swim team, right?”
“Yeah. The coach told us he needs to eat to build his body.”
“The swim team coach?”
“Mm-hmm. I think it was April, two years ago.”
“Two years ago?”
“Yeah, there was a parents’ meeting for the swim team, and that’s when they said it.”
“Wait—you went to a parents’ meeting?”
“Yup.”
“But you were still in middle school, right?”
“Exactly. I was the only kid there—it was so out of place. But my dad was busy, so he asked me to go instead. I mean, it worked out—I got to check out the high school early.”
She laughed lightly as she said that.
When she showed me her lunch, it had all kinds of side dishes—clearly a lot of effort went into it.
“It’s mostly leftovers from last night,” she said.
But that just means their dinners must be pretty elaborate.
That’s why she goes home early.
She probably even thinks about nutrition and all that, too.
I heard her say this too:
“One time, my brother stayed home alone for about three days. Guess what he was eating during that time?”
“What was he eating? Rice and—”
“No way, he didn’t even cook rice.”
I was honestly shocked. She said he just bought bread from the supermarket and ate it with jam.
“Wait—every meal?”
Yeah. She even said he was eating cup noodles at night.
“Then he wasn’t getting any meat or vegetables, right?”
“Exactly! That’s what I’m saying!”
Just carbs, basically. No protein, no vitamins. I mean, you’d at least want to drink vegetable juice, right?
“It wasn’t just food, either. The laundry had piled up. And when I asked him about it, he said he didn’t even know how to use the washing machine. But somehow, he could use the vacuum cleaner, so at least the room was clean. It was kind of funny.”
“I told him, ‘What would you do without me? You wouldn’t survive.’ And he just said, ‘I’d manage somehow.’ Like that could ever be true.”
When I cooked for him, he just kept saying, “This is so good, this is so good,” eating happily like crazy.
“Of course it tastes better than jam bread. I just kept sighing the whole time.”
As I listened, I could almost picture Soto-chan looking at him with that warm, caring expression. A sister like that—no wonder he’s so kind too.
But the brother who makes her try so hard must also be a really special person. Otherwise, she wouldn’t go that far for him.
I’m jealous, Soto-chan.
In the end, all I get is more things to envy her for. I just keep sighing.
…Haa. I should sleep.
After my bath, I blow-dried my hair loudly, put on my pajamas, drank a sip of milk, and crawled into bed.
“She really was beautiful…”
The image of Soto-chan at the hotel floated up in my mind. So beautiful, elegant, intelligent-looking, and yet with that gentle, enveloping smile. So many people in the restaurant kept sneaking glances at her.
When they left, she even waved at me—and my mom noticed right away.
“A friend of yours?”
“A classmate.”
“She’s a beautiful girl.”
“She’s usually pretty plain, though.”
Then a memory suddenly came back to me.
“He told me to wear a school swimsuit.”
It had been after school once. The conversation had drifted to her brother’s swim club, and I’d asked if he ever taught her how to swim. She said they used to go to the pool together when she was little, and he taught her everything. So she could do butterfly and backstroke too.
“He’s a good brother, huh.”
Well, yes—but then she mentioned the swimsuit.
“Since we’re going to the pool, I wanted to wear something cute. But he said, ‘You can’t practice in something that looks like underwear.’ I’m not even in the swim team—I’m not there to train.”
At the time, I just laughed it off. But now, after seeing her today, I understood. He probably didn’t want unnecessary attention drawn to her.
“Unbelievable, right? I couldn’t wear the swimsuit I bought anywhere. So one summer vacation, when he was home all day, I just wore it in front of him.”
I had a dream.
Sotoko-chan was there. She was on a boat—a ridiculously small wooden one.
The sea was in a violent storm. The boat was being tossed around mercilessly, waves and rain crashing down.
She was soaked, collapsed on the deck, covered in what looked like vomit from being seasick over and over. Eventually, the sea calmed, but her face was red and she was barely breathing.
The boat reached a harbor. She was carried off and taken into a rough, poor hut. Her cheeks were sunken, her body worn down.
“You can’t go on like this anymore.”
People tried to stop her, but she forced herself up, saying, “I have to go,” and staggered back toward the boat.
Then it became a different sea—this time scorching heat, no water at all. She lay collapsed on the deck, delirious, completely exhausted. She was falling apart.
No… this is wrong. Someone has to help her.
I woke up.
A heavy sigh escaped me.
What kind of dream was that…
I must be so jealous of Sotoko-chan that my own bitterness turned into something like that.
I really am awful. I can’t even accept other people’s happiness.
…?
Outside the window, beyond the curtain, I felt a flicker of light.
What was that?
I got out of bed and gently pulled the curtain aside a little. Light was coming from the direction of the shrine.
…?
Something felt off. I looked at my alarm clock. The hands had stopped.
The world had gone silent.
