第一章（その２）
The first thing I did when I was in prison in a mental hospital was to lie down on a thin mattress and talk to myself. Well, when I took such an action, you would be able to understand how much I was cornered. With a glance at that psychot Raven, my bluff was completely stripped off. Even though I desperately tried to catch my breath so as not to breathe high, I couldn't help but feel that those black eyes were still staring at me. He sat on the bed, chewing the apple, and still staring at me - I even had such a hallucination. "No, no!" I hurriedly sooted myself. "He's locked up in a cell anyway. I can't do anything. Besides, this is what my stepmother thinks of! Anger drowned out fear. Strangely enough, until my stepmother appeared, the feeling of anger had never been in my heart for long. ——I was taken away from my mother's life when I gave birth, and because of that, I was alienated by my father, and I was entrusted with a series of nannies from the moment I was born. However, there is only one nanny I still remember. She was a very beautiful daughter named Vanessa. She often made freshly baked bread. I helped knead, and then the two of us ate while having Don Quixote read. My father always appeared around five o'clock in the evening, and after spending ten minutes with me, he spent thirty minutes with well-aged scotch. The relationship between Vanessa and her father was in the fog, but when I was young, I sincerely hoped that the two would be married. But the reality was different. Before my seventh birthday, Vanessa was suddenly fired, and instead a disciplined man named Crokov took care of me. I can talk a lot about Crokov, but the most intense memory is that the bed was turned over every morning. If the corners of the sheets were even a little sweet, he threw everything on the floor without mercy. "How you make a bed will determine your sleeping comfort." That was his habit of saying. I sighed as I remembered that memory. Because it was impossible to make a magnificent bed with this prisoner mattress, which was too thin. Crokov also strictly eyed my studies and forced me to finish my homework as soon as I got home from school. I obeyed, but I wasn't particularly good. I was somewhat good at literature and languages, but neither of them helped me with social success. Moreover, I was born in July. Compared to my strong classmates born in November and December, my physique was underdeveloped for a year, so it was a dream to be active in the sports club. Normally, school life would have been miserable. However, my father's reputation stood first, and even the teacher treated me like a swelling. That's why my arrogance was not made a loud noise, but was shaped by sarcasm and ridicule. Only one person, Ivan Pronin, poked me. A man born in October with a thick neck, he was the son of a banker. One lunch break, he rushed at me and said. "You think you're better than everyone else, don't you, Blaze?" "I can't say anything. Because I didn't meet everyone. When I replied, he growled, knocked the book off my hand, and the moment I looked up, he hit the corner of the mouth with a surprise. That night, my father looked at the thread sewn on my lips and didn't ask anything. However, from the next day, Ivan disappeared from school, and two weeks later, there was a rumor that "the family had moved to New Zealand". It was the only expression of affection that my father showed me. But in reality, it was also to protect his own reputation.
——そうして八か月前、私は帰宅して、父が一緒に暮らしている人物を知ることとなった。
「こちらはリディアだ。お前の継母になる人だ」
「こんにちは、坊や」
彼女は豊かな髪と曲線的な肢体を持ち、私の頬にキスをするためにかがむと、柔らかな胸が私の腕に押し当てられた。
「これから仲良くしましょうね」
私は言葉を失った。
「まあ、彼、サラにそっくりね」
「サラはだらしなく座ったりしなかった」
父の声は冷ややかだった。
リディアはくすくす笑った。
「きっと、もっと“堂々と”立てるんでしょう？……ね？」
彼女は私にウィンクした。正直、私は彼女を抗いがたいほど魅力的だと思ってしまった。
だからこそ、二週間後に下着泥棒の濡れ衣を着せられた時は、なおさら辛かったのだ。
「これは見過ごせないわ、ジョセフ。私は継母になる立場なのよ。倒錯しているわ！しかもあの下着は高かったのに」
そんなもの、否定できるはずがない。
たとえ無実でも。
ましてや十七歳の少年なら、なおさらだ。
その烙印は一度押されれば、永遠に付きまとう。後の疑惑すべてに“証拠”として積み重なっていくのだ。
そして疑惑はすぐに連発された。
結婚式の五日後には「財布から金を盗んだ」と非難され、その次は「風呂を覗いた」、さらに「盆栽に排水口用の薬品をかけた」。そしてダイヤのネックレスが失くなった時、真っ先に疑われたのは当然、私だった。
「そんなはずない！」私は叫んだ。
「まあまあ」とリディア。
「父上、私は盗んでいません！」
「じゃあ、これはどうなの？」
リディアが私のクローゼットを開け、札束、小瓶の薬品、そしてレースの下着を何枚も引っ張り出した。
——そうして私は、クリアビュー精神病院へ送られることになったのだ。
「矯正効果は実証済みよ」とリディアは父に言った。
「二週間で、きっと更生して帰ってくるわ」
私は薄いマットレスに寝転び、天井を歩く蜘蛛を見つめていた。
ふと、ヴァネッサと一緒にいた頃を思い出した。彼女がドン・キホーテを読んでくれている最中、私の足に大きな蜘蛛が降ってきたことがあった。
私は悲鳴を上げたが、ヴァネッサはその蜘蛛を優しく掴み、「彼は耳が遠いのよ。物語をもっと近くで聞きたかったの」と冗談めかして言った。蜘蛛はドン・キホーテが大好きだそうだ。
それ以来、私は蜘蛛に対する偏見をなくした。
「で、お前は何をやらかしてここに来たんだ？」
私は、同室の蜘蛛に問いかけた。
「違法サイト運営さ」——そんな返事が聞こえた気がした。
「それで、三号室の奴はどうだ？ まるで“地中埋葬”って言葉を体現してるだろ？」
私は同意した。
「だがな、お前も覚悟を決めた方がいい」
蜘蛛は続けた。
「ここには想像を超えるものが潜んでいる。怖いと感じるものじゃなく、本当に恐ろしいものがな。八つの目でも見えず、八本の脚でも逃げられないようなものだ。……生き延びたいなら、強くならなきゃならん。わかるか？」
私は答えなかった。
ただ、自分の独房の先にある三つの扉に思いを巡らせていた。
その奥には、一体何がいるのだろうか——。
お読みいただきありがとうございます。引き続き第2章へお進みください。
