PUZZLE 4: THE ENDLESS FALL - ACT 4
On the mountain top, Yaeko ties a metal bar to the end of the rope, then loops a quarter of the rope around the stone cube ten times.
On the other end of the rope, I finish tying it around my feet as I sit quietly in the branches of the tree. My eyes can't help but wander past my dangling feet to the black abyss below.
"Less staring, more prepping," comes a stern voice.
I shake my head to focus myself as Yeako appears under the tree.
She eyes the rope around my feet and nods. "Good. And remember, do not touch the black cloud down there or it will drag you into Hell. Believe me, there's crap down there that you'll never be able to unsee!"
As Yaeko tugs on the elasticated rope to test its stretchiness, I stare at her emptily. "Sister… when you got out of there, did you… become a better person?"
She stops for a moment and tilts her head. "If a poor man becomes rich, does that change who he is inside? When a student becomes a master, does that alter his upbringing? Truth is, people's circumstances change all the time… but that doesn't change who they are inside." She gives me a sharp look. "So before you even dream about going into Hell and trying to change your mother, just remember that people never change. Ever."
I look at her in silence. I hate that she can read my thoughts like they're a billboard.
I swing my knees onto the tree branch, and I steadily crawl along it until I reach the end. I place my feet on the branch, and slowly stand up on it so I'm now directly above the hole.
"Alright… steady," says Yaeko. "I wish you the best of luck, sister."
I turn to her and nod. "Thanks, Yaeko."
She smiles at me, then runs back over to the stone cube.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
I must move towards fear, never away from it.
"Okay, I'm ready!" she shouts over. "Three, two, one, jump!"
I swing my arms back then forward, and the momentum pulls me forward off the branch. Then, I'm diving down towards the darkness.
My blood quickly rushes from my head to my feet, and I keep my eyes closed, trying my hardest to not pass out.
As I drop, I imagine the other end of the rope rotating the stone cube so quickly to the point where Yaeko can see through the thin slats and view what's inside it.
She'd better get a good look! I'm not doing this again! Falling like this feels just like when a flight suddenly loses altitude, but for way, way longer!
YANK!
The metal bar on the other end of the rope must have finally snagged on the crotch of the tree. I suddenly fold up as the elasticated rope stops my fall. My body then unfolds, and eventually I stop bobbing up and down from the rope's relaxing and contracting.
I'm now hanging upside down, and my blood hurriedly shifts from my legs to my head.
This… is one strange feeling…
I don't think I've passed out. I can still… feel myself.
I slowly open my eyes, and my adrenaline quickly spikes as I realise what's beneath me. The black smoke is a mere half metre from my head!
My breathing quickens in fear as I hang upside down so close to it.
The smoke is so obsidian… so lifeless and haunting… that all I can imagine is that it must descend for miles and miles.
Dammit!
Focus, Akemi! You can't stay like this forever!
I eye the rock face nearby. Then, with gritted teeth, I start swinging myself back and forth.
Progress is small at first, but eventually, my swings are wide enough to where I can almost touch the rock face. With one final swing, I finally grab onto a ledge with my left hand. I take out a pocket knife with my right hand, flip it open, then cut the rope at my feet.
Once free, my lower body drops from the rope, I drop the knife, and hold onto the rock face with both hands as my legs slam into the rock face.
"Urgh!"
That didn't hurt as much as I'd thought, but the pain will catch up once my adrenaline dips.
My feet are now centimeters from the black smoke. I hastily find my footing, and slowly climb up a little further away from it.
I close my eyes, and take a moment to steady my breathing. I then carefully look behind me and focus on the hanging rope. There's a purple ribbon on it level to my eyeline. Like the colors of the rainbow, purple implies the bottom of the rope, and red implies the top.
I check the rockface I'm clinging onto, and then at the perimeter around me.
No numbers in sight here.
Time to move up to the navy ribbon!
I use my right hand to open the small sack attached to my belt behind me, and dip into the chaulk while my left hand hangs on, then vice versa.
I don't eye too far above me, as the distance to the top would dishearten me. Just focus on the next step, not the next leap.
I identify where to place my hands and feet, then begin my ascent.
I move slow and steady, being careful not to use too much energy as I'll surely need it for the final few ribbons. I stop on occasion to search for the numbers, but I'm met with no such luck.
Eventually, my persistence is rewarded by my eyeline meeting with the navy ribbon on the rope. I find a mostly safe angle to hang onto without too much effort, and press my head against the rock to rest.
I take the water bottle clipped to the side of my belt and take a sip. I then look around me for the numbers.
Dammit. They're not here, either? I know I didn't miss them on the way up here.
Maybe… they're a little farther up.
⧗⧗⧗
As I make my way up towards the sky blue band, my muscles already start to ache, but they're the only tools I have.
I'm alone, and no-one's coming to the rescue down here.
I try to take my mind onto something else.
Normally, thinking about rescuing Mother would lift my spirits, but not this time. I can't imagine her warm smile, her gentle touch, and her unconditional love, only the pain she must be going through… down there.
"Hmm?"
I look behind me, and notice that I'm at the sky band.
"Already?" I murmur in surprise.
I immediately look around, hoping to catch the numbers, but again, this is futile.
"Impossible," I hiss in frustration. "I know I'm correct. Asaya wrote the message to the boy above the well, then lowered it down, so the numbers have to be within here. I am not wrong."
"Of course not."
"Huh?" I stare past the rope, and see someone sitting on the rock face opposite me.
My brow furrows and a sweat forms on my face. "It… can't be…"
I stare at the figure, hesitant and confused. Knowing that I may let go of the rock by accident, I slowly turn myself around so that I too am seated on the angle of the rock, my palms acting as anchors on the ledge to keep me upright.
"M-mother?"
"Oh, Akemi dear… I'm so glad I'm still alive in your memory."
She's dressed in a bright white gown, and she's still in her late thirties, the same age as when I saw her last.
"How can I forget?" I shakily respond. "I can never forget!" I look away in shame. "And I can't forgive myself for what I did to you! Maybe… you can do that forgiving instead..."
"Is that your true desire?"
"Of course it is!" I shout. My voice echoes off the rocks. "What do you think I'm doing this for? Fun? I killed you, and now I have to torture myself just to reach you!" I can't help but look away again. "Yaeko's right," I mutedly continue. "I can't change who you are. You'll probably end up in Hell, no matter what I do. But at least I can apologise to your face, then you can respond with, 'It's okay'. Even if you just pretend to say those words… it's more than enough for me!"
A tear rolls down my face.
As I eye her, she tilts her head. "Oh, how I miss you, Akemi. You really should visit me sometime."
I squint at her in horror. "What?"
"Oh, come on, dear. Your mind is an open book to me. Just let go, roll down the rocks, and enter the warmth of Hell. I'm dying to see you again!"
I snarl with anger. "You're just a lowly demon!"
"Don't you mean, 'a lowly mind-reader'?"
I gasp.
"Aren't you curious how I ended up down there? Don't you want to know if I'm the leader of the Angels?"
My head instinctively moves forward, and the demon laughs.
"Manipulator," I growl. "She has nothing to do with them!"
"If you say so." Her smug taunt renders me speechless.
The demon then jumps from the rockface and floats down into the abyss. She vanishes into the black smoke below, never to be seen again.
As the smoke moves in its disturbance, I feel myself getting drawn into it again.
"No!" I shut my eyes and look away. "Temptation cannot grasp my soul," I tell myself. "Its fingers are like glass. Seemingly hard, yet easy to smash. I recognise the temptation before me, then my hammer crushes it into dust. Let the rain fall so the Earth absorbs the dust, so it can no longer reform!"
As I say these words, I hear thunder claps in the far distance.
I open my eyes and look up. I tilt my head back, and welcome the rain which lands on my face.
That night, I wish for the rain to stop so I can sleep. I've jammed my knees into a gap in the rockface, so I'm anchored in place.
Those drops are never gonna stop hitting my face, but I have to at least close my eyes and get some hours of sleep.
Hmm… Seeing that demon has reminded me of something Mother used to say that always made me fall asleep.
I recall her words in my mind. "Once upon a time, there were two girls. One of them was good, and one of them was bad. The good girl could not see the bad, as the bad girl never showed that side of her. The bad girl could not see the good, as the good girl never showed that side of her, too. So, their judgments on each other were always in the shadows."
Whoa… that's really effective… I'm about to go into my slumber.
Wait a second! Didn't Yaeko recite that exact story? How did she… know it?
It's not possible!
Has she… met my mother before… somehow…?
⧗⧗⧗
Hmm… Normally I hear birds at this time in the morning, but there's just a dead silence.
I slowly open my eyes, notice the rock face I'm leaning on, and immediately grab onto a rock with my left hand and feel my knees with my right.
To my relief, my knees are still jammed inside a gap in the rockface, which secured me in place overnight.
I grab my opened water bottle from my belt which had gathered rainwater for a drink, then I take out a protein bar from my pocket for my breakfast. I take out the bottle's lid from my other pocket, and cover up the bottle.
Then, very carefully, I take my knees out of the opening, check the rock face, and start my rise.
"Argh!" My hand slips and I slide down the rockface.
I manage to grab onto a rock in time, halting my slide. I grunt in frustration as I stay frozen on the wall.
Dammit! I totally underestimated how wet the rocks would be!
My torso and knees are now slightly grazed, but I feel no pain as my adrenaline pumps.
I carefully look behind me at the rope, and see a green ribbon just above me.
"I'm making progress, at least," I remark to myself. "Or… am I?" I carefully check around.
What? The numbers aren't here either? I'm half way up, and I still haven't found them?
Unbelievable!
Not wanting my disheartenment to freeze me, I chalk up my hands, and start climbing again… This time, with extreme care.
The surface is slippery, and my progress slows down substantially. I have to triple check that every stone I grasp won't escape me before I move on.
Ever so often, I stop for a few moments to feel if my body needs rest, and to find those damn numbers of course. I'd hate for my muscles to suddenly give up on me. Everything aches and stings, like I've been running for way too long.
After an hour's ascending, I check the rope. The yellow ribbon is a few yards above me. This little target is just enough to push me on. Just a little more, and I'll be there.
I steadily keep climbing, thinking only about the yellow ribbon that's well within reach. Eventually, my eye line meets it, and I stop and sigh in relief.
I should be in pain, but reaching this milestone actually feels rewarding.
I think… I'm ready to look up now. I think… it won't be so bad if I see the finish line from here.
My eyes align to the top of the hole I'm in.
Ah... It's a lot further away than I thought it would be.
⧗⧗⧗
A sickness!
Something must have entered my bloodstream when I grazed myself at the green band. There must be all kinds of foreign bodies on this rock face, and climbing up will only make more of them enter my cuts.
I cling onto the black rock with my eyes closed. My body feels like ice, and I mercilessly shiver away. My fatigue only worsens the state of play.
Frozen where I am, I try to ignore my deliriousness.
I feel like throwing up, but I can't… I haven't eaten enough to do that.
Right now, I'm just a weakling, holding on with what little strength I have as my body fights off whatever's lurking inside me.
"I choose to hang on. I choose to hang on. I choose to hang on," goes my chant.
Suddenly, my feet slip, and my hands instinctively grip tighter onto the rocks so that gravity doesn't defeat me. As I hang there weakly, I search within me for some kind of motivation to push me forward.
I can't afford to rest like this. My hands can't hold my weight forever.
Nothing. Nothing at all stokes my fire. This must be what it's like to have no passion in a life. No invisible hand to constantly pull you up, just a sense of hopelessness dragging you down.
If only… there's something else that can help me…
I slowly open my eyes to face my reality. I tilt my head up so I can see the cloudy sky above me.
I squint as I notice something in the rock a few yards from me, then my breathing quickens.
I immediately plant my feet on the rock, and I force myself to go up. Still frail, I find myself slipping a little a few times, but I keep pushing on with determination and care.
My eyes eventually meet with a carving on the rock, and I touch it with my finger.
"The longitude!"
Then, something burns inside me.
I don't want to confront it. Not here. But I guess I have no other choice.
I look behind me, and see the orange ribbon. Horrified, I look up, and find that I'm only a mile from the top of the hole.
Unreal. It's just… UNREAL!
I scream in anger, louder than I've ever screamed before.
My voice bounces around the hole and it's deafening, but I'm unable to cover my ears.
This is Asaya's message.
Only a part of one's effort bears fruit.
⧗⧗⧗
It's night time. I should be asleep and resting, but frankly, I don't see the point in that.
I continue climbing past the final red band and close in on the top of the hole.
I'm probably still sick. My face feels pale and my shivers haven't subsided yet, but I no longer feel any pain. Right now, I feel invincible. I can push through anything.
My fingers finally clutch the rim of the hole. I've made it to the top… but… do I have any strength left to pull myself up…?
I doubt it.
Maybe… I should just hang here for a while-
Suddenly, a hand grabs my wrist, and Yaeko appears above me. "I hope all that exercise was worth it, sister!"
⧗⧗⧗
Yaeko and I sit opposite a fire.
Man, she must have travelled for a while to get that dry wood. There are no trees anywhere nearby!
I'm back in my normal clothes, and I drink warm soup out of a wooden bowl. She eats a toasted marshmallow on a stick.
"It was at the orange ribbon? Jeez, that's taking the 80/20 rule to the extreme, ain't it?" She throws her now bare stick onto the fire.
I finish my soup, put down the bowl, and eye Yaeko with curiosity. "Were you… up here the whole time?"
"Of course I was," she plainly replies. "What do you take me for?" She tuts. "Look… when I did the climb, and it was way bigger than yours of course, it was damn lonely. There's no need for you to go through the same."
After a pause, I respond gently. "Thank you, sister."
Yaeko also pauses, then looks down. "Hey, don't mention it."
I look back at the rim of the hole, then look back at the detective.
"Yaeko… why did you go to Hell?" I ask. "You didn't have to. You really didn't have to."
She goes silent at first, then her eyes move to the flames between us. "When I was growing up, like most kids, I had no fear. I would… go on all kinds of adventures and get into all kinds of trouble. But then, one day, I noticed all the other kids around me had developed their fears. They sweated over getting bad grades. They were petrified over disappointing their parents. They avoided breaking the law. I didn't understand those views. I had no idea what was going through their minds. And finally, my first real fear appeared. A fear of lacking fear, and I would somehow turn into a monster capable of committing the worst atrocities without regret. So I decided to fill myself with terror by voluntarily jumping into Hell, then climbing back out of it as a human changed."
I stop for a moment to take in what she's said. "And… are you a different person now?"
"Not really," she answers with a casual shrug. She meets my eyes. "I still have nightmares of everything I saw down there, though. While I'm still mostly fearless, I still think twice about what I do. That's something, I guess."
I nod a little. "Do you know of anyone else who did what you did?"
"What? Are you kidding me? No way, sister. No-one's as dumb as me."
I then squint. "And who else knows about what you did?"
She looks away. "Um… well…"
"A woman in her early thirties knows.
"Huh?" Her surprised eyes say it all. "Yeah, that's right. How did… you know that?"
"The story you told me to make me sleep probably came from someone I once knew." I slowly lean forward. "Tell me, Yeako. How did you and her meet?"
Her eyes dart around the ground and her brow furrows as she searches her mind. "S-she was… a total stranger. She was standing over there by the tree when I finally climbed out. She refused to give me water unless I told her why I was down there, so I told her my whole story."
"And how did she react?" I sharply ask.
"Um… she was impressed… I guess. I remember bumping into her a few times after my escape. She always wanted to know if I'd changed since the first time we met. And in a way… I guess I did."
An unbelievable twist of fate!
Yaeko climbed out of that literal Hell hole, then accidentally inspired someone to lead a twisted cult!
Could that woman be…
I take a deep breath. "I only came up here to tell you the longitude," I mutter quietly.
"What?"
"Use it with the lattitude and get to the location. There won't be anything there stopping you from getting the next part of the Hades Watch. I'm done here."
I stand up, turn to face the hole, then start walking forward.
"Hey! Akemi!" An exasperated Yaeko runs up in front of me and puts her hands on my shoulders, stopping me in place. "What do you think you're doing?"
I lightly smile at her. "Yaeko, I have to know why she's down there. There is no other way for me to find out the truth."
Yaeko stares at me in horror. "You're insane! Being so close to the mouth of Hell has driven you nuts!"
"Don't worry, sister," I gently remark. "I'll be fine."
"Liar!" she shouts, tears appearing in her eyes. "It's far worse than you can ever imagine down there! It's not worth it for you!"
"That's not for you to decide."
I grab one of Yaeko's wrists with both of my hands, turn, and toss her over my shoulder.
"Argh!" She lands hard on the solid rock, totally numbing her body.
I turn my head to her. "Maybe because you now think twice, you ended up being so caring toward me, even though you don't really know me. I don't really know you, either, but I'm sorry for causing you pain."
I continue my journey to the hole, get up onto the tree, and stand on the branch directly above the abyss.
"Dammit, Akemi!" comes Yaeko's scream. "The chance of you getting out of there is next to zero!"
Who cares about getting out?
I close my eyes, swing back my arms and jump.
As I make my fall to the black smoke below, I envision my mother, smiling like the angel I thought she was.
I live in denial.
How can someone like her be in a place like that? It makes no sense to me.
I know I'll be at peace once I find her. It's just a shame the road to heaven… always feels like hell.
