Chapter 5 New city, same rules
How much further until we're at your home?
Closer then the last time you asked so please just stop asking.
Tatsuya was leading me to his home. He did say he lived in the sewer but I didn't realize it smelled so bad. And all this trash in the water, makes me sick.
Still, I keep annoying him for fun.
Are we there yet?
No.
Are we there yet?
Heck no.
Are. We. There. Yet.
NOOOOOOOOOO. For crying out loud do you find this funny?
Yes.
That was the last thing he expected her to say and the frustration clearly shows. Though Anna doesn't care, it just makes her laugh more.
How in the world did you become the so called legendary trickster so powerful even death itself was afraid of you?
Lots of practice, lots of quips, and one visit to a comedy club.
Wait you went to a comedy club?
Yes, and I killed it there.
Literally or figuratively?
There's a difference? Anyway, are we there-
Finish that sentence and I'm gonna throw a boomerang in your face. I don't care how cute you are.
Wait, you think I'm cute?
Blush alert, Tatsuya is blushing red.
Whaaat? no..I..Don't..
Awwww Ann says, getting closer and putting her hand on Tatsuya's face. He was bashful and tried to avoid eye contact but Anna just looked at him with her seductive eyes, playfully teasing him.
Well a handsome man like yourself doesn't come around often. Maybe I would take you out on a date.
Really?
Here, let me whisper a question in your ear first though.
Ask anything.
Are we there yet?
Letting go and running away laughing, Anna is quite pleased with herself. Humiliated and wanting to punish Anna, Tatsuya starts chasing her, throwing boomerangs.
Come on, it was a joke.
A joke huh? You think it's funny to tease a man like that?
Well yeah, that's the point of a joke.
Yeah, well the point of a boomerang is to hit annoying people.
Hey that's me. Oh I see what you mean.
Get back here!
And he chases her all the way to his home.
Hah...hah...we're here.
Anna was expecting a tent and a barrel on fire but no, this place was huge. The area of the sewer was the size of a 3 floor apartment complex.
It was filthy and trash was all over the floor, along with lots of manga. A huge tv in the back complete with a worn out sofa.
And there were several rooms, enough for 8 people.
Nice place you got here. I like it.
Stop mocking me.
No I'm serious. I mean I lived in a camp in the woods most of my life so this is better compared to that.
Oh come on living in the woods is not that bad.
When you have a gator sneak in your tent and try to bite your face off then you can say that but until then don't say a word.
I'm not even gonna ask. Anyway, this is my home, pick any room you want. I mean it's not like I bothered to clean the place up a bit.
Excuse me, what kind of pillow is this?
Anna was holding a body pillow with a semi nude waifu.
AAAAAAAGGHHHH! Give me that back.
You can have it, I'm guessing I don't want to know why it smells the way it does.
Did she hurt you Ai-chan? Don't worry, daddy's home and ready for another round.
What the heck am I watching?
Nothing, you saw nothing. Do you understand?
But-
Do you understand, he says holding a boomerang to my neck.
Yes.
Good.
Now that we got that out of the way I got to ask: Did you make this place yourself?
Well I've lived in Florida for 7 years, but I've been homeless for 5. During those 5 years I found a tiny spot in the sewer and took the time to redecorate.
Finished it in 4 years since I was doing all the work myself. I just wish I didn't have to live like this.
What do you mean?
I mean everyone mocks me. I fail a few jobs and people treat me as if I'm a leper. What's worse are the homeless hunters.
Homeless hunters?
Yeah, a bunch of guys that hate the homeless and see them as parasites that need to be moved. They are common in Japan and since Japan established new edo they are here too. They come here every now and then to beat me up.
And since they are martial artists I've never really beat them. Sometimes they piss on me after they finish beating me up.
Yikes. Japan sure has changed since I last saw it.
So, before we turn in for the night, got any trickster tips now?
Ah right, I promised I'd teach you to be a better trickster. Well a tricksters powers depend heavily on their emotions.
Say what?
Negative emotions make you weaker and might even make you lose your powers temporarily. Positive emotions make you stronger.
And just being calm and collected gives you no loss or benefit.
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THIS WHOLE TIME I WAS DEPRESSED AND ANGRY I WAS MAKING MY OWN POWERS WEAKER!?
Yep, with your real power you could have easily beaten that big robot.
Damn it! See if I knew that I wouldn't have failed so many missions.
Heeeeeeelllllllllooooo! Tatsuya-chaaaaaaaaaaan, come out and playyyyyy.
Oh sh$t it's them.
Relax, I beat up martial artists on a regular basis, plus we have more gas right?
No what you used was the only bit I had.
Okay, not the end of the world, there is more then one way to hurt them.
Several teens showed up armed with clubs and bats, each one full of evil in their hearts.
There you are Tatsuya-chan. Oh, and I see your adding another parasite to your home.
Hi, welcome to our humble abode. Would you like some snacks, maybe some weird girly pillows.
They are not touching my waifu pillows.
It is just sad how that has a name.
We don't want no dirty homeless waifus, and we don't want dirty homeless food. We want you gone. But you know what, we've been doing this dance for years now.
I think we'll just kill you.
Anna, now would be a good time for one of your plans.
May I borrow your gun?
Knock yourself out.
Anna moves right in front of the homeless hunter and points the gun in his face.
What? You going to shoot me? The bullet will just bounce off. I'm warning you if you pull that trigger I'll take that bullet and shove it right up your-
Anna just smiles, moves the gun so it's right next to his ear and fires. The sound of gunfire temporarily disabled the man's hearing and the sharp pain makes him writhe in pain on the floor, unable to focus his ki.
Tsk, tsk, when will they ever learn. I never fight somebody without a plan.
Upon finishing her sentence she shoots out the mans knee caps, which terrifies the others.
You get one warning, take your friend and leave, or your next.
The men are so scared they obey with haste. Tatsuya is shocked that Anna has beaten more martial artists, and with something so simple.
How do you keep doing that?
Many years of experience and practice. You don't just get my powers in this deal, you also get my knowledge, and that is what's really valuable.
Thank you for dealing with them.
Yeah well next time you do it. I'm gonna find a place to sleep, so good night.
What a woman.
