020326
reputation and ruination
oh, women ahead of me
my fellow Filipina
I understand poverty was not your choice
by means of survival you strip yourself of dignity
to flock overseas and sell you bodies
an ancient trade, the oldest profession
whether by exploitation
whether by complex negotiation
of agency and determination
I cannot be the judge behind every motivation
of what keeps you coming back
whether through desperation or integrity
that's your narrative
yet the backdrop of horror to crawl back
into the cradle of the poor nest you once rest
then I see a sliver of it
dear tita,
dear ate,
Magdalena is a figure I presume
but please, when did you become a Jezebel?
come on, who gets blinded by money
for hundred thousand peso bill
a hitman goes in for a kill
for what?
for an insurance policy?
I don't understand
of why are you overrepresented much
in this shore,
to become their exotic whore
I like to think you were a victim
perhaps, here and there, you are
and there are those
whose moral values had not known God
whose black soul was tarred too thick by greed
because they'd never tasted this immense privilege throughout their lives
privilege and power is tested
measured when wielded, madam
but if this is given to you overnight
you waste it all away
how could you not?
when you were never exposed to it by sight
let me tell you how it's done
in the beginning,
it is handled by those before you
gleaned knowledge from it
until it shall be passed down soon to you
all the miss and hits are noted
making the successor careful than reckless
it's a bright torch
that'll burn everything
including your conscience when it's beyond your capacity
if by low aptitude and if you are not careful
power is a fire that loses control in the weaker mind
control, ma’am
a cool head to see things ahead
it's not murder
you don't kill the goose that hatches the golden egg
madam Filipina
tita, tita, I shook my head
do not pay for blood
soon they will come at you
in league
like battalion
you will rot at Muntinlupa prison hill
with your conspirator about to be tortured
by the older inmates in the known ritual
who gives off the reputation for a demure Maria Clara?
if Jessica is the loanword
Maria Clara is the madonna
Jessica is the exported puta
all of these names are bestowed to you by men
the same men who wanted a fuck
but feels disgusted in the end
keeps coming back
ruined, and keeps looking for Jessica
loves the thrill of chasing Jessica
until the vivacious Jessica is a relentless vow on their lips
quite a reputation gained it seemed
just the word Filipina creates a good picture
in the land of the rising sun
never truly reading past underneath the changing shadows
of how the different shades flicker,
the underbelly of Manila.
how this underbelly shaped you,
my dear fellow Filipina
poverty, hedonism, corruption and violence
greed, money, power and absolute insolence
God by Sunday
lawlessness by Friday
at night, a lurking shadow awaits the susceptible
a riding in tandem held his gun
what is going on?
the greater ills of our society,
a few Jessica extorted,
manipulates the system like permanent visa
with great skill, such a feat
and challenge the word chaos
bring more definition to it
by the time you're involved with the Chinese syndicate
who gambles, who drinks, and remains godless
be looped into the rabbit hole
if you did, do you understand the case
that you are disposable?
money is a paper,
it's not money you're chasing now,
it's the fact that you can hold power
even by the underground
because you are powerless on the middle ground
you are a devil queen beneath
whose capacity is the tendency to be a good puppet
servile and still weak to understand
that you are nothing but a pawn
and a piece of flesh
about to be thrown
to the dogs
to the snakes
or to the sharks
either way, since you involved yourself
to people whose humanity is gone
what is normal to you
is the abnormality of it all
Jessica who are mothers
Jessica who did not become Jezebel
Jessica who was saved from drowning in alcohol
I hope you tread well
indeed is the advice, let us carry on with our lives
it's a tragic and horrifying tale
that among the Jessicas and Marias
there are those of you
who built a reputation, quite respectable, quite good
and there are few of you
who was dulled until it turns to ruination,
for evil and for worse
however,
why the few of you
is sensationalized enough to carry the torchlight of us all?
but fuck the prejudice, isn't it?
let the dim-witted idiots remain xenophobic
these systems that male entitlement complains
blabber on
yada yada yada
“I was scammed by a Filipina!”
not to invalidate your feelings, bro…
but what the hell are you doing there in the first place?
if you weren't there, by supply and demand
they would be gone, in the blink of an eye
it's sayonara, bye-bye
but it's you who keeps coming back
you like the drink, isn't it?
damn shit, how are you different from the Australian man I've heard before?
how are you unique to this American military hunk MAGA asshole?
how are you keeping up with this German man, who looked like a German shepherd?
I grinned again
oh… I know where this is going
“all Filipinas are scammers.”
keep talking, bro
yeah, keep talking
I'd be in the background smiling
whispering next to me, “look at that bloke
bewildered and gullible.”
Ah, but Jessica, my tita
I know you can be quite gallant
the amiable Jessica, the good tita
showered me down with her blessings
she probably remitted it from her husband's pocket
it's okay, her husband doesn't seem to mind
but deep inside
I'm sure he had his regrets
well, my good sir
you are what you tolerate
but send my best wishes to all of you
felis navidad!
hundred air kisses from your unsuspecting nieces
muwah, muwah,
when will the balikbayan boxes arriving?
just joking
I'm not demanding
I hope I'm not a parasite
by tita, who's too generous to shower me with Kit-Kat matcha,
the good Jessica
hello ate, more Marias
I hope you don't end up in a national news
because by a single flash
the whole world might start condemning again
a longstanding decade of peace and harmony
is too fragile
that a single mistake
a once in a blue of the rarest crime enacted
is a legitimate stake
to put us all in a bad light
