020926
I can no longer afford to lose you
Hear this flurry of typecasted letters
Come, Honor, let it be rung
I can no longer afford you, Time
Crystal capsule of my life
I can no longer lose you, Everyday
As every person says goodbye from their last breath
While I wait and watch their hair turned gray
Come, Character, hear me out
As clouds of smoke are dominoes casted in the air
They topple one after another until time is gone
What God sees as dust
Is what I yearn for extension
Life is a luxury, Will
See how my hands clung to faith
And pray my silent plea
Cloaked by my soul
A soul deprived
Of unwavering hope
Of unfailing anticipation
Life is not free, Liberty
Life is only borrowed
But I no longer afford mine
If it's a crystal capsule turned diamond
I will have it someday pawned
God watches and waits
Yet I know every moment of idleness
God, forgive me
For I continuously sin
For my own weaknesses
See them and punish them with a whip
This is not a petition, dear Lord
This is not a supplication, reeking desperation
If one body is at loss
Let the pain ring and be soaked
Under my frail body
And I'd cough my transgressions away
Tell myself it's okay
And watch me below as I continue to sin
How then, if shamelessness
I continue to ask you many times over
That I want replenishment?
Let me buy time, dear Lord
Ground on my foot,
Fulfillment on my side
For I sunk,
And find myself growing duller
Each day when I let my precious time pass
I shall face the consequences then
Day by day I know
It's not punishment you do
But my realization battles me as a foe
What's a mustard of faith, is it courage?
But mine is a flame, dear Lord
A flame that sways by the dictates of the wind
Moods swinging to all directions
Of the people I know
And came to know
I'm no longer young
I'm turning to an adult
But for some reason
I'd cling to you, Optimism
And find the youth once lost
But youth leads me to nothing
Only maturation affords me money
And then, what?
This is the moment lasting to none
If I'd saw you once more, Jubilee
See me after a decade
And tell me if I'm the same
As I once was
Will I pay enough?
If I can afford them to pay soon enough?
The things I cannot afford to lose
Have I bought them soon after?
Dear Lord, see my way to it
I'm blind
My mind is a white noise now
Let me afford to buy
The crystal capsule turned diamond
Of the precious time I wasted and lost
Let me pay my debts if I can afford them, dear God
But even my poor soul is not worthy of an offer
Let me prove by buying
That the merit is my naivety to believe
I have them in me
An intrinsic quality, foolishness of a vain
But desperation and weakness
Bring slurred promises
If forgotten by limitations
Hear, hear, see how my mouth mumbles
By my fragile heart's anguish
Twisting until unfounded tears
Seizes my body to succumb
Tender enough to put my fresh wound to display
'Til my sadistic tendency wants me to sprinkle salt
And be humbled like salt from the earth they turned away
Damned and weak, I say
But I cannot afford to lose time
Let me pay them
But tell me how
Tell me what it's all about
But if by today and tomorrow
Let me stay
Tell me I can borrow
And move forward
Seeing ahead, knees not yet cracking
Like the age I have now
Reaching vitality
But wasted, not wasted
Guide me then, dear God
I'm lost but do not wish to be found
By anybody
Other than You and me
When desperation made me swore an agitated plea
Watch over me below
And let me show
That I can walk firm with my own two feet
I will knock the threshold of the treasurer
Let me pay the ones I borrowed, Lord
And let me pay the ones I had lost
Will you bless me then?
Or have me forgiven?
