123025-26
molds and lizards
in every breath I take
the tiny molds prick my lungs
the tissue wore down until they snap
slapping me a hard cough until my chest wheezes
every evening I stare at the ceiling
listening to the lizards playing
running and appearing outside my window pane
they are glass windows, the blurry one
that's why, when I look at the sneaky, sticky lizard
the tiny dot of its feet comes by a stroke of its reptilian milky scale
I rolled to my side and returned to sleep
facing the dry wall filled with the painful needles of a moldy bedside
my life, for about two years, stands still as I repeat, cleanse and do this cycle
I removed the molds this Sunday, actually
and I'm relieved, I can breathe better now,
what's left are the cobwebs hanging on our ceiling again
with rats running about
naughty and mischievous sort of rooftop infestation of bird feeders
my Dad, and his hoarding disorder
I chose to ignore these pests
just as I learned disassociation
no, no one's to blame
maybe I am if there's one
if I failed to live up to expectations
what I brought them instead felt like disappointment
I stare at the walls across our kitchen sink
around the kitchen window
staring and brushing
just like I did for the span of these two years
when they thought I would have a job
something neither is realized
neither did I care for now
I've done my job being the dutiful daughter
standard achiever, these clinking medals are enough to have completed a student career
I neither care another validation in this dismal country
nor would I fancy to be the fattest whale in a scanty pond
scarcity that screams like overcompensation feeding the shameless corrupt
I'm willing to be paid the meager wage of a deficient slave
thinking this is honest
neither can I make ends meet
stretch every bill when a peso is deemed worthless
these molds sprout again nearby my company
should I rot? they can eat me alive
then rust
and dust
slowly chewing my body with their cute teeth and vicious appetite for my lung tissue
and our house
thinking a hole and a roof, dripping a rainfall every season is just fine
for someone used to live in this state
bottom feeders
what's a moldy place? when you're used to something far worse?
where are those lizards now? are they content running around our house?
such optimism, for these living organisms…
Happy New Year, y'all (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ! I told myself I'm logging out, but things are needed to be done before I could say, "Peace! I'm out (≧▽≦)."
