A Rock Star Ex
Mary sat on the dressing room couch, staring at a poster of one of her idols on the wall. Though, the recognition was rather meaningless. Tumultuous emotions occupied her mind.
/What am I doing?/
She hadn’t continuously thought about inviting Rika and her friends to hang out with her after the show. It just seemed like the thing to do.
/What did I even expect?/
She doubted her own motives, thinking back to her decision to invite Rika in the first place.
/A show in Tokyo, Rika was her agent’s primary contact at Mochi, it was a professional gesture, something super common./
Really though it wasn’t necessary, or even something her agent had suggested to her.
/Then why?/
She and Rika had dated in high school, over a decade earlier, it might as well have been a past life. They met each other in home room, she was just the girl sitting next to her. The ice broken by a dropped eraser, the whole thing was practically meaningless, childish even.
/Like some shojou manga./
They found they both wanted to play music and started the light music club. She sang and Rika played guitar, they developed their own edgy fashion sense and personas. Adolescence syndrome from a textbook.
Over time they developed feelings for one another and began dating. Whether it was convenience or fate they didn’t know, maybe they thought it was fate.
Eventually Rika changed, no longer the girl she liked and vise versa. They met on the school’s rooftop yard and decided to break up, mutually.
At least that’s they way it should have been. In reality, Mary’s heart had been shattered over the break up, a girl just like her. Even half American, just like her. Their personalities meshed beautifully, spending so much time together that being apart felt unnatural. Over time though, the pain faded and new loves blossomed. However, they never lasted and were never the same as her first.
But, people change, Rika had changed. She grew up, no more playing rockstar or adolescence syndrome. After that, Mary didn’t know where it left her, she had never been playing or pretending that was her, and knowing that she really thought that was Rika.
/If only./
Her journey would have been much different, maybe more enjoyable if Rika had been there with her. That evening had presented a fateful opportunity, maybe.
/Maybe something could happen./
Mary threw her head into her hands.
“I’m such an idiot. That would never happen.”
That evening had just been professional, and two old classmates saying hello, nothing more.
“Ugh.”
/I should have realized they were dating. She was so pretty./
“I hope I didn’t make her uncomfortable.”
/I actually feel bad./
The situation had turned awkward very quickly, she had also been slightly embarrassed. It seemed Kiko had somehow picked up on her moves, and shut them down.
She blushed.
“That was so stupid of me.”
Though, seeing Rika again had been almost a shock. She was even more beautiful now, and so mature looking. Mary felt envious of Yuki, as she seemed so similar to Rika, an actual adult.
/They’re a perfect couple./
Mary stares at her hands.
/I feel bad./
She considered apologizing, or maybe that would just make it worse.
/We could just forget about the whole thing. We won’t see each other ever again anyway./
Inevitably though, she would have to interact with their team again at some point, breaking contact entirely wouldn’t be possible.
/I have to say something at some point./
She picked up her smartphone and unlocked it, flipping through her LINE app contacts. Rika’s name was listed, it was originally how they communicated about business.
The text bar blinked as she thought about what she would write.
“Ugh.”
/It’s way too soon, and I have no clue what to say./
She relocked her phone.
/I’ll message her tomorrow or something./
Her eyes found their way back to the wall, staring at the same poster as before. An extraordinary life with ordinary problems.
