Fate or Convenience
“Thanks. You’ll be fine? I don’t mean to leave you short-handed.”
“You know me, I’ll be fine. Is she okay though?”
Yuki was still sleeping soundly, her head resting on Rika’s lap.
“She seems so, but that’s for her to say.”
“Are you ok?”
Rika paused. Kiko’s question was entirely subjective, and answering was not unlike Pandora’s box.
She put on her most cheery attitude.
“You know me, I’ll be fine.”
At that point Kiko was used to Rika’s “tactfulness”.
“Alright! Both of you rest up then.”
“Thanks.”
Rika ended the call.
Kiko sat her smartphone on the desk and rested her head on her chin. Then let out an exasperated sigh.
/Yuki please help her grow up. She’s the same as she was when I met her./
Rika stroked Yuki’s hair gently. She’d been sleeping peacefully for three hours.
She looked out the window, the sun had risen on a new day.
/Everything in its own time./
Ironically though, everything recently had been happening at a blinding pace by all standards and norms.
In one light it seemed fated, in the shadowed part of her mind, convenient.
The only bearing she had were the words of Yuki, who seemed far beyond a doubt. However.
/I’m her first kiss, her first love. She has nothing to go off of... I think./
She still didn’t know much about her past, but there was a possibility she felt so strongly because this was her first love.
Rika thought back to her youth. She knew that feeling. A girl she knew for a while, someone she thought she loved, who loved her. But, they both learned the power of just the idea itself. And the concept of simply liking someone.
/Being in love with the idea of love./
Rika didn’t care much to even remember her name. They had been polar opposites, abrasive personalities that stayed together for the sake of it. Eventually they faded from each other and thought better to forget about it.
/I haven’t actually thought about that in years./
A pang of guilt gripped her heart.
/I should tell her. That might, actually, be Pandora’s box though./
Rika looked at Yuki’s sleeping face, completely undisturbed by anxiety.
/I’ve caused her so much trouble as it is./
Rika silenced her weaker, darker side.
/I’ll tell her when she wakes up./
The one benefit of her experiences, of a single “girlfriend”. Was she knew what love wasn’t, with age she had come to know herself, flaws and all.
/I love her./
In truth, Yuki was far stronger than her. An almost comical irony considering her own name. Since they met she had been playing catch up, trying to match Yuki’s openness, make up for her own flaws. The first time she had actively tried to improve herself in her life.
She had felt nothing but guilt since receiving the call from Yuki. She wouldn’t accept thanks, her being there was the least she could do. Seeing Yuki so scared had nearly killed her, and hearing her make jokes and sleep soundly had been enough.
Rika began slowly patting Yuki’s head again like she had asked hours earlier.
“Am I in heaven?”
Rika felt her heart almost stop.
“When did you wake up?”
Yuki turned to look at Rika.
“Please don’t stop.”
Rika began patting her head again.
“Lap pillow, head patting, you. Best sick day ever.”
Rika smiled, and rolled her eyes.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying it. You slept well I assume?”
Yuki winked.
“Who wouldn’t.”
Yuki sat up and hugged her.
“I know you don’t want to accept it, but thank you.”
She then whispered in Rika’s ear.
“I love you.”
Rika hugged her as well.
“I love you too.”
Still holding her Rika moved so they were looking at one another.
“Can I talk to you about something?”
She had resolved to tell her, but still felt nervous to the result.
Yuki nodded.
“That first time at the bar, you said I was your first kiss yes?”
Yuki nodded again, not looking away from Rika’s eyes, or her trusting expression changing.
“Well, I dated someone when I was younger, younger than you are now. It was stupid, I mean we didn’t-“
Rika stopped talking as Yuki put a single finger to her lips.
“Was she prettier than me?”
Rika could see her reflection in Yuki’s black eyes.
“Not at all.”
Yuki smiled.
“Why, thank you. I knew it was likely there was someone before me.”
“You’re not upset?”
Yuki shook her head no, her hair swaying along.
“I’m not sure if it’s the same case with you, but there was a poem I read once about this kind of thing.”
She rested her arm around Rika’s neck. Not looking away in the slightest.
“That was another time, I was another person. Right now I’m here with you, and for that there is a reason.”
She smiled.
“Honestly, it applies to past romances as well as our lives. I already know so much about you, but haven’t shared anything about me.”
She no longer smiled, only stared, Rika’s bright blue eyes dazzled like the surface of the ocean.
“Would you listen? All the way from the beginning?”
Rika nodded slowly.
“We’ve got all the time in the world.”
