896. Teaching science, 9
(Selya)
I took her hand, trembling.
Her weight and warm hand pulled me back to my feet, and now I felt shy.
Melenna Melswourne... From the tale I heard a while back. And how I pictured her. Kind, shrewd, beautiful. Tall, elegant, charming.
I was agape, in shock, gazing at her bright eyes with a golden shimmer that makes them look as if they shone some light.
With just that simple and light smile on her face, betraying awareness and control more than simple joy. My ideal... She was magnificent, and the true dream of an artist suddenly meeting their ideal fantasy come to life.
She stood before me openly, patiently. For the time it took me to recover my senses and mind.
I noticed again how some fumes had come from the ground and below me when she had appeared, seemingly out of nowhere. The ground appeared to have been ploughed and dug before us, clearly.
Was she just created here? Or is this just a far more vivid hallucination?
S - Melenna?
Mel - Yes.
Even her voice sounded normal or even nice to my ears.
Melenna got closer and took hold of my hands again. I felt the warmth of skin through it once more.
The warmth of real life?
S - How... How is this possible? You’re... real... Right?
Melenna saw through my confusion and pointed at a rock bench just behind, where we could sit and chat.
She invited me to go there with a gentle pull on my hands. I followed.
We sat. I couldn’t take my eyes away from hers, fascinated and a little spooked. She kept holding gently of my hand, warming it up nicely.
Mel - I’m here because you called me. I am real, however...
S - Are you the real Melenna?
Mel - No. That’s the thing. I’m only what you created, what you wanted. I’m the Melenna from your mind, not someone else whom might have existed.
S - I... created you? So suddenly? Then... You’re like a child, from me?
Mel - Technically, yes. I have mostly the mind set you desired for though, so I have more of a maternal affection for you, not filial.
I felt uneasy. A worry grew in me.
Melenna noticed and we let go of each other’s hand. She stood up to get in front of me and kneeled down, to raise my lowered face from my shame.
Mel - Selya, don’t worry.
S - But... I... I didn’t even intend to do that... I don’t even know what you are...
Melenna put her hands on my knees as if to reassure me again. That I shouldn’t feel bad about just creating her so suddenly.
Mel - Selya, I’m not exactly a complete and independent form of life. I’m more a kind of illusion that you wished for to repel solitude. You don’t have to worry about me. My mind and persona is merely a small fragment of your imagination and a different awareness on your perceptions. Not much more.
S - And... Your body? You’re not human?
Mel - No. It’s just a solid illusion. You would need to wish for far more and it would cost you a far greater time and resource to do so. You only wished for me to appear and feel human enough, not to be a full human in itself. I don’t have a complete awareness nor metabolism.
S - You still sound smart...
Melenna gently smiled at me.
Mel - I have your knowledge, that’s all. I’m with you Selya. That’s all you have to know.
S - But... What should I do now? Of you? Of me?
Mel - You can do whatever you want. You’re free to imagine what you want. Me I’m just a small part of you that you made and can call or dismiss at will now.
S - You’re saying all my desires could come true? But if I wanted you to go... to disappear. That would kill you...
Mel - No silly... I’m not really alive. And you can fulfil most of your wishes, but maybe not everything imaginable.
S - I want... To find my dad.
Mel - That you can’t. I’m sorry Selya.
S - Why! You said...
Mel - Selya... Lucjan is dead.
I felt something crumbling down in me. Of course I knew it in some corners I always put aside. I teared up.
Melenna wrapped her arms around me to comfort me. She would have the infinite patience and kindness I would need. I indulged myself in it, closing my eyes and letting her realistic illusion comfort me.
S - Melenna... Do you have a beating heart?
Melenna touched her breastbone mechanically, then realised from knowledge more than test what she had or not.
Mel - No. Under my skin and a thin layer of flesh, there’s just foam and air. I’m hollow like a vase.
S - Then me too... I don’t have a heart anymore... Dad is dead. I thought I could see him sometimes.
Mel - They were hallucinations.
S - I desired them, like you?
Mel - Less consciously, and less elaborate, but yes. It surely also came from you... You know, you still have a heart inside. Your body could also restart producing warmth biologically. It’s up to you.
I was a little agape hearing that.
S - Th... Really? I could live again?
Mel - Of course. And you’ll be able to shed warm tears of joy anew as well.
Melenna wiped my cheeks from the cold tears and mud I had on myself. I’m still feeling shy as if she was a stranger. I can’t believe I just created her...
Mel - Your power isn’t defined by materialising me. You shouldn’t think you’re simply a summoner. What you can do with what you hold inside, it’s to control the influences of Terra in. It includes effects on your own body, and on everything around you. To a point where you can create replicates of your own body and create or animate others.
S - Wh... What... Terra in?
What the hell is that?
Melenna and her golden eyes looked around in the sky as if thinking deeply about it. Then she turned back toward me.
Mel - T.I. is the currently given name to that power you’d call magic. The essence of the Aïsshea sisters that flows within you. It’s the ichor flowing from the source in the north. It’s what you’ll need to master to realise your dreams and wishes.
S - Where does that come from... Is that something I’ve forgotten?
Mel - Not quite... It’s some knowledge that comes from far further. You’ve made me able to read some of the things you accumulated from others but don’t relate to your sense of self. It’s a lucky consequence of your inexperience but wide power.
I’m shocked. Her eyes feel like they can see right through me, down to the deepest corners of my mind I try to hide.
She can see things in me I cannot.
Mel - You’ve accumulated far more than you realise already, under their impulse. But without their mind, you remain who you were first. What you gave me aside your memories and desires, it’s some of these great amounts of leftovers you don’t utilize. There is a lot of knowledge and memories there, from the Aïsshea, and others.
S - I... I don’t know what to do with all that.
Mel - It’s alright. You should take your time. I’ll simply tell you what I can and as much help as I can provide. You shouldn’t feel shy or shame, because you’re free.
I should learn from her... More than a few things probably.
But as kind as she is, she’s also a little spooky.
Which makes her larger than life...
~
We walked away from these suburbs and into the wild. I gradually learnt to know this Melenna a little better, and to learn from her what she could tell me of the other world she more easily relates than me.
There’s a condensation of memories inside of me I don’t consciously access because they’re not my own. She has some of that it seems.
Mel - Your wish crystallised on something alive of you, and something alive from the other side. Call it a spore, which made me able to structure myself where you couldn’t easily do so. It filled in the blanks in memory and systems to make me functional.
S - So you’re not just my wish and an hallucination, you’re real. Just... Not human in body, nor mind.
Mel - That’s mostly true. I came from a seed and a spore, but I’m neither now. In a way, you could say I’m a little daiûa.
That name rang a bell. I saw some glittering memories shining around me.
S - And you’re mine...
Mel - I am yes.
S - And I have that power to create what I wish stored in me? I can change myself and anything else at will?
Mel - To some extent difficult to quantify, yes, you do.
S - Could I grow myself wings?
Mel - Yes... Wouldn’t that be a little ridiculous though? You don’t need wings to fly.
I felt a bubbling sensation somewhere in my head. It comes from one of these memories that’s not originally mine.
Melenna put her hand on my shoulder to banish the pain away. It worked, reassuring me.
S - First anyway, I think I’d like to have a beating and warm heart... Like before.
Mel - Thankfully it’s probably among the easiest and less risky of wishes to make as well. If you wish for it dearly and focus on that strongly, desire it, it’s bound to happen.
Melenna let go of my shoulder and stepped a little aside of me. I suddenly felt the miss and craved the warmth of her hand.
S - Will you leave me someday?
Mel - When you will desire it yes.
S - And if I never want it?
Mel - Then I will always be with you.
It would have made me blush if my cheeks still could. It did feel nice hearing her say so with a rather kind but serious look on her. She’s too kind.
Okay. Let’s learn and let’s try.
~
