656. Amor Desti, 4
We had bliss gardening for this time in one of the still most beautiful cities in the world.
We helped pollinate the grounds.
Not much work was needed for things to start and evolve on their own.
What grew from my heritage was soon lost among quickly spreading moss and grass.
Some time passed as we multiplied the archaeological digs and wider gardening.
Until a season passed and we could notice different clouds appear over the horizon. The weather is about to change, likely abruptly.
This was as good a time as any, truly. Nokarlık was getting increasingly melancholic.
A part of her bright confidence she had showered me all this time began to fail, as she came to accept I wouldn’t return to the kingdom with her.
She had dreamt and idealized a place for me at her side. She had thought of everything, ready to accommodate even my thorny side.
But the body she gave me failed her expectations, and now my personality as well.
N - How long will you leave me alone?
R - Hm, maybe a year or two? It depends how things go.
Nokaranlık is getting sad to see me go, so we extend the goodbye and parting time.
I’m so happy she has her home and dream to return to.
Me, something else is calling me, further in the East.
Of course I want to see her kingdom and the dream she took over growing. But I don’t want to be that architect. And as much as I like the idea of helping her as her knight, my wished and desires still lie elsewhere.
My mind isn’t made for settling and aging over there yet. It’s likely to come as I get older, but it’s clearly not the right year for me yet.
R - I want to go...
N - I know... Roses such as yourself are always looking for something more...
R - But I promise you I will return someday. I will see for myself how you’re doing there, and kiss you more.
Loads more. I’m kissing her cheeks strongly. She’s feeling conflicted.
N - If you die out-there, before you return to me... I will bring you back to life to kill you myself.
I swipe her tears as she mumbles that. I know she can and will do it, but mostly she’s sad that I’m leaving her on her own.
R - It’s alright... It’s a deal then. If I fail to my promise, you are allowed to punish the idiot Rose that will come next.
N - ... I need to take a picture of you as you are today then...
R - A picture?
Nokarlık undressed entirely, and focused on bringing out her hidden flesh in the other side of reality. She transformed at great speed into her gigantic form, out of the blue.
R - By taking a picture, you meant...
Her hand about the same size as me caught me and already raised me at the height of her face.
R - Don’t do that! Nok!
Not again!
I scream as I’m getting swallowed, still very anxious no matter how much I trust her. It’s a horrible experience!
I get constricted and feel like I’m dying in more ways than one for a moment. I possibly am.
~
I wake up a moment later on the ground I had just left. I cough.
Nokarlık is still a giant towering above me. I scold her.
R - Don’t make a habit of that! It’s awful!
N - Stupid Rose...
R - What... Don’t tell me... Did I?
She covers her face with her hands as if to cry.
Wait, it can’t be...
How long?
How?
R - Nok... I’m sorry...
N - Stupid Rose!
She scolds me badly, but then pulls her tongue on me. I knew it!
R - Brat!
Her giant hand comes closer. Her index fingertip comes to poke my forehead.
N - You deserved at least that.
R - Hm hm... I agree. Come on, hug me now?
I raise my arms to her to make up. She doesn’t shrink much to embrace me though. She picks me up again and snuggle me while still a giant.
I’m like her doll or toy right now... A pet maybe.
She eventually shrinks herself after a while, but not yet still to human size.
Now I’m like a cat to her. She lifts me up from the shoulder to sit me on one of her arms and pets me as if I were one.
I endure her spoiled behaviour as a way to atone, but she gets her good fill of teasing me.
R - Stop petting my tummy!
N - You’ll be a good girl out there, alright mom?
R - I will. Let me down now.
She rubs her giant cheeks against me a last time and brings me back to the ground finally. I’m feeling dizzy.
Nokarlık returns to her normal size and picks up her clothes where she left them before. She’s still somewhat hesitant. I hug her back.
R - Goodbye my dear daughter. Stay brave and see you next time.
N - Hm...
The bad weather change is getting noticeable in the distance. A wall of dark clouds slowly approaches.
I give her a last kiss before she stretches her hair as wings to fly away. It pains me too to split away honestly.
I take confidence in that I don’t see how any harm could come to you.
How much will you have grown when we meet again I wonder?
As bad as I feel about leaving you now, I don’t see what else was left for me to bring you as a mother. Only presence.
But I’ve already given you all the knowledge and power I could think of, and you’ve by far outgrown me in all.
Live well Nokaranlık. We’ll see each other next time I come to travel near your kingdom.
~
It begins to rain.
It’s such a happy rain. Worthy of a happy wedding.
Buds are blossoming, voraciously.
The stronger winds coming along make it all dance, from skies waters to lush ground.
My impressive and whimsical daughter has already flown so far away she can’t be seen. I wonder if she’ll send her dragon to watch over me.
I feel weird. Lots of emotions still circulating through my veins and inside my head.
Many conflicting pasts and identities are twirling to make a harmony out of me.
I wonder if their names should be praised or would be better to fade?
Dear me.
I’m breathing slowly, looking at the beautiful rain showering the landscape softly. There is still more blue sky than clouds.
I notice flowers exploding as if blooming too fast and withering right away. Some start to wilt under the water. Odd.
I’m still contemplating the chaotic mess of my own roots.
Oh well...
I’ll settle with being Rose Blume, and leaving it at that.
I pick up my bag and head onto the road heading further into eastern Asia.
There is chaos in life, and like my dear sister, I enjoy it. I love it!
~
