1163. Hubris, 6
(Armylè)
While others discussed outside, about life and health, the same occurred as well in town.
On a day like any other, Morhens pushed his body a nudge too far.
Johann and Morhens were walking toward an office, reading some reports.
Johann was reading some pages of equations, looking for a possible flaw.
Morhens let out a little scornful remark at the note of Xian Rough’s recent quitting. Morhens had known him a little.
But reading in the note he had quit to focus on his family, that got the doctor resentful.
He could not understand that choice, and he voiced it. He despised such decisions.
Johann didn’t really listen to him when Morhens was just ranting. He spent his thoughts about something else when it was unrelated to their work at such level.
Morhens could be plain mean with his scornful remarks. He was a little childish with his anger sometimes, berating people who acted in ways he didn’t like, no matter who was around him.
Thankfully he wasn’t always showcasing this nasty behaviour, but that was among the worst he could get.
Everyone knew he was a sociopath and that these aggressive mood swings simply showcased how much out of touch he was. People were now used to it and warning the newcomers about it. Just don’t listen to him then. It doesn’t mean anything. He’s just venting anger with random insults, nothing else.
Thus Johann continued reviewing his notes, without looking.
But then the voice stopped, and a moment later he heard some unusual deep sound.
He stopped and looked back, finding Morhens unconscious on the ground.
In his fit of improper anger, he had passed out.
~
Morhens had seen nothing coming.
He didn’t remember what had happened when he woke up.
He felt that he had dreamt about something.
It was always the same thing he saw in dreams. The red storm. The electric and ferrous storm so far away and above the city where he had momentarily been.
The rain of rocks, iron, embers and sparks. And then blood drying...
The sight of the colleagues from the time dying one after another, and soon being only him...
And then... The cave. And then...
The statues, and the light they were seemingly holding. Or praying toward.
And then... The light flooding everything.
And the world dying.
Morhens woke up from these memories in cold sweat usually.
He was shaking a little. He discovered his environment. It was clean and white, peaceful looking.
He sat over the bed where he was, wearing a thin medical gown.
He didn’t know where he was, but he could guess.
A little panicked still, he was startled by someone he didn’t know suddenly entering the room. Someone who wanted to talk. About something else but work. He felt anger returning already, pumped by his heart everywhere in his body.
The medical doctor of the research centre was now sitting, waiting for him in a way.
He looked at Morhens with an empathetic look, almost a little fatherly.
- How do you feel doctor Morhens?
G - Very well! Back to work!
Morhens stood up but immediately fell back, to his knees and then all four. He couldn’t hold himself up anymore.
Fury left place to distress. Anguish was coming as his body betrayed him.
The doctor came to help him stand up and then sit. Morhens accepted the help with disgust and reluctance. But he was powerless at the moment.
Once Morhens was sitting on the bed, catching his breath, the doctor brought his chair closer to sit in front of him.
- How long have you not had a good night of sleep doctor?
G - Ah... Does it matter?
- Simply answer...
Morhens cussed. He felt like he was losing his time. He hated these sensations of being forced to stay and answer stupid questions.
He checked the time.
G - About a hundred and twelve hours.
- You’re not a young man able to endure so anymore.
The medical doctor had sounded irritated. That made Morhens even angrier and louder in repercussion.
They sighed, from hopelessness and exhaustion.
- You’re a dreadful patient... You should know better to care about yourself.
G - Your useless advices are a waste of my time.
- You are pathetic. I’ve seen dumb people, but you...
G - Too many imbeciles around you too? I’m not surprised. This city is just a consanguine bog...
- Doctor Morhens, consanguinity can also have advantages on the genetic pool you know?
Morhens felt weirded out and looked as much. The doctor had a smirk betraying what he really meant by that.
Things could be awful, there could be something else to learn from it nonetheless. And he was a little amused having beaten Geder into doubting and questioning himself at least a little bit.
Maybe it wasn’t just about everyone else being dumb?
All the man could hope, was finding a way for Morhens to put into question his lifestyle, for his own good. By any mean necessary. Nevertheless, if the medical doctor had been able to tickle the man’s intelligence, Morhens wasn’t in the mood to be receptive about it.
He didn’t want to debate about genetics and natural selection. And he certainly did not want to feel like he was wasting his time away from his objectives.
The man was alone facing an obsessive beast and only felt saddened. He wouldn’t reach him.
- You won’t live ten more years at this rhythm.
G - It doesn’t matter.
- Then why do you care so much about your work? If your life is meaningless, so are your researches.
G - Why would you fucking care about either? Ah yes medicine... Everyone dies. The research would progress anyway with somebody else! But that...
Morhens stood up, forcefully on his trembling legs.
He was gritting his teeth as he stood with more tenacity than strength. He was shaky, but furious.
He glared at the other man. What they said had been meaningless. And now Morhens wasn’t looking at all for a heartfelt conversation.
G - My researches await...
Holding himself against the wall, trembling and unsteady, Morhens managed to leave. He kept grunting as he disappeared behind the next door. The medic sighed.
He had not dared stand in his way.
But he felt sorry for the man who would sooner or later die in his office pitifully.
He could only wonder where was the boundary between scientific genius and delirious insanity.
Geder Morhens was insane.
~
Morhens returned to his more usual quarters and reached his personal office. He let himself fall on his chair, exhausted.
He still was out of breath and trembling all over.
He still had the anger from discussing with the doctor. People who thought they knew everything... Pedant prigs.
Morhens would rather die alone at his desk, than in a bed surrounded by people he overall hated.
He was bitter.
That sentiment would have drowned him, had he only accepted it for what it was.
He went through by forgetting what it meant to be human.
His body, his health, his empathy and other kinder emotions...
His memories... He pinched his furrowed brow, trying to forget.
When his thoughts and memories were no longer under control, he was brought back to remember that red traumatic time. The red storm he had survived had overwritten everything else from his youth.
He couldn’t stand this colour...
He fell asleep.
He didn’t dream much this time, too tired still. He was passed out more than anything.
When he woke up some time after, he was still slumped on his chair. His limbs were numb from hanging in weird ways there. He still felt dizzy and now thirsty as well.
He fought the pain to lift himself upward, and discover that his desk had slightly changed.
A day or so had passed already.
Someone had left notes on his desk, but not attempted to wake him. Reports were piling up.
For now he was rubbing his eyes, trying to wake up and recompose his thoughts.
He grunted. A quick look at the time told him how long he had been out. Longer than he would have expected, his body taking its toll more freely now.
As much as he didn’t want to care about his own health, there was a minimum he had to reinvest and consider.
He went to take a shower, washing away some dizziness and smell. His beard was a little heavier each year that made him older. He was the holy father of this place. Not that he would have liked hearing that nickname he sometimes had, among others more or less kind.
Even being wet to be cleansed, he now couldn’t like. His hatred was gradually growing, not dying.
He felt sick. He couldn’t stand much nor anything now.
He returned to his office, a little better nonetheless.
Eating something simple, drinking a little. And then finally having a look at some of the reports that were accumulating.
And something else to make him angry appeared.
A detail repeating, becoming problematic.
Too wide. He became furious. Accuracy was seemingly dropping.
His anger made him cough. Morhens felt that him being out of the game for just a little while had been enough for the team to start slacking. That made his fury take a better hold of him.
He grabbed aggressively the sheets and left his office growling.
~
