To Read and To Write Out of Spite: Musings About Cultural Wars
Mesmerizing Messed-Up Little Thrill is almost as close to Pinoy Wattpad romance form, if only though.
It would've been much easier for me to write with a plot on beat copying through the popular formula.
If only it didn't go against my entire philosophy (if I ever have one, haha).
And I could've just published my scratch papers on Wattpad anyway. If and only if it were, but it truly didn't belonged there.
The thing is, the more I understand my own interest, the more I learn about my style. And to that, Mesmerizing Messed-Up Little Thrill is indeed written out of spite.
These succeeding months, when a particular novel will be released, I'll be writing a review of it out of spite—again.
It seems nothing drives me better with enough conscientiousness than the drive to just burn and rage over something.
Slowly, surely, absolutely until no stones were left unturned.
Petty as fuck, haha.
If I would get down to it, you can always point out that I'm too much into identity politics.
Meh. *Shrugs.* Whatever.
Not that my opinion matters any more than how the text reads. Res ipsa loquitur. Coz I'm a highfalutin fancy myself (haha).
What my thought process now doesn't really hold much to the outcome itself.
Nothing changes much to the core itself though. If I'm like the early 2000s rapper Eminem with chika-chika 'Slim Shady' rage, I'd probably say yeah...
It's female rage for you.
I have no idea why.
But maybe because every time I have the energy, I'm a misandrist. Haha.
Especially with those braggadocio cocky jerks. One look at them and I'm like: disdain.
Tryna be a gangsta, but a useless fucka he brings nothing to the table. Or he's an airhead loser who's only good at smoking.
07/27/2026: maybe after I've totally gone out and touched some green, green grass, I would wonder how I managed to write all of that. At some point, I could forget it and in time I'd have my own "authorial intent" plastered with a big question mark over my forehead. Probably asking, "what the fuck did I just wrote again?"
08/26/2026:
If there's something I did master when it comes to this topic... it would be to fuck up the formula. Middle.fucking.finger for these aging tropes. I know shit, America. And I'll fuckin' burn every piece of what I know alive. Give you a trashed--if not bastardized yet enough---this whitewashed mind bastardized Filipino-written novel will be damn glorious.
Have a feast on it later on, other than how much you glorify those equally fucked gender politics.
