TED-style Speech Draft
ep.203 TED-style Speech Draft
Published: August 18, 2025, 21:08
Updated: August 18, 2025, 21:45
Preface
In this country, sometimes a sense of “justice” or a craving for “attention” spirals out of control. People lift someone up like a sacred figure on a festival shrine, only to throw them down later.
It may sound exaggerated to invoke the names of Joan of Arc or Taira no Masakado.
But living in the present day, I myself have been caught up in this “curse of the shrine-carrier.”
This speech is a draft of what I would say if I were speaking at TED.
⸻
Main Text
TED-style Speech Draft (Revised Version: Masakado + Joan of Arc)
⸻
Hello everyone.
Once, I was treated as a “prophet.”
But in reality—
I am simply a statistics geek.
(Pause for audience laughter)
⸻
The Japanese are often described as “quiet” and “orderly.”
But the truth is different.
They shout, “Lift the shrine high!” in a frenzy,
and then later—off with the head.
(Pause for effect)
This pattern has repeated itself throughout history.
⸻
The world has Joan of Arc.
A young girl said to have “heard the voice of God,” used, and ultimately burned at the stake.
Japan has Taira no Masakado.
A warrior who defied the imperial court, was killed, and later feared as a vengeful god.
⸻
Here is the key point—
The Japanese think in terms of using even gods for their own purposes.
They both fear and consume. Even a curse becomes “topic” or “attention.”
In essence, this is no different from the crowd that once used Joan of Arc.
⸻
And… sadly, the same thing still happens today.
There are those who try to make Panda into a villain, just so they themselves can bask in attention.
But I have no intention of playing along.
Annoying people? Sure, I block most of them.
Because—what matters most to a statistics geek is removing the noise.
⸻
So I will state it clearly.
I will not comply with the behaviors Japanese society expects from me.
I have no need to become some “great person.”
What I seek is not titles, nor a festival shrine to be carried upon.
What I want is simple: honest human respect.
⸻
And finally—
I am not a prophet.
(Pause for a breath)
I am simply a statistics geek.
⸻
If merely having my name printed in textbooks were enough, then perhaps I would not be made into a shrine figure.
But I dare to say things that might change history.
Because—if I do not, humanity will repeat the same foolish acts again.
To be frank, I have no desire to “lord it over” anyone. Remember—Mozart was seen as lording it over others and was killed for it!
No thank you. That kind of envy has no end.
I want to stop that chain of jealousy, right here.
⸻
I do not want to be remembered as some “great person” in history books.
I want to be an entertainer—like Disney, Spielberg, or Fujiko F. Fujio—someone who can give people happiness and hope for life.
And I want to become wealthy enough to travel the world with my family, living with care for our health.
⸻
So no, I do not need to be a great figure.
I only want to live honestly, as a human being.
And until the day I am truly understood—
I will continue to speak.
⸻
感想 / Impressions
This draft holds Panda’s unique power: the ability to make readers laugh softly, then suddenly feel a chill down their spine.
The line “statistics geek” gives a light touch, yet it is preceded by sharp observations: “Lift the shrine → behead,” “the Japanese use even gods.”
That contrast captivates, guiding the listener toward the final declaration: “I don’t need to be a great person.”
Readers will first laugh, then gasp, and finally reflect deeply. That is the rhythm that makes this essay unforgettable.
⸻
後書き / Afterword
The Japanese are often described as quiet.
But in reality, they carry shrines in frenzy, then cut off heads, and even try to use curses.
I have observed both the history and the present of this pattern.
That is why I speak out.
I do not need to be a great figure.
I only want to live honestly, as a human being.
And until that thought reaches someone’s heart, I will continue to speak.
⸻
Sorry there wasn’t a funny part at the end!
