Chapter 59 – Farewell to the City
Far away from the City of Lamias, on a remote mountain bordering a bubbling magma pond, a red dragon figure rested relaxed. The ancestral monster completely clashed with the scalding scenery, keeping his eyes fixed on a magic circle that projected real-time images from a very distant place.
— I still don't understand why the Goddess of Creation and the Goddess of Fertility became so interested in this boy and asked me to keep an eye on him — murmured Roun, with his thundering voice echoing off the rock walls. — I agree that he is different; his soul carries the resonance of another identical person from a few millennia ago... But the raw control he exerts over the elements is the most terrifying. And this knowledge about certain things... it seems he brings memories that don't even belong to this planet. But what the hell, how did he end up here? Well, at least it's entertaining. It's like they usually say: "unlucky in love, lucky in bad luck"... Although I believe the one having the most fun is that perverted Goddess of Fertility. Leave it to her to force the union of destinies of such different sexes. But is he not going to notice it? —
Roun let out a rumbling laugh, swinging his colossal tail over the hot stones.
— That crazy Goddess of Fertility even confided in me that she prepared forty-one samples of females from different species to be his possible wives, but it will all depend on his taste and how many he can handle... The boy hasn't even reached reproductive age and she's already throwing him into this crossfire! Imagine when he hits puberty... Will these females start a turf war over him? Come to think of it, it would be hilarious to see his face in the face of such despair... He has so much power, but gets completely lost in the middle of so many females! And how will it be in the centaur city? After all, my scale won't work as well as an aphrodisiac for them... Maybe it will work better with the lizardmen, Minotaur, or with the wolf-women? What if I give him a fire blessing to increase his stamina and attraction?... No, although to increase attraction, I would have to ask a draconic female, and explaining that would be a hell of a job... Well, I'll keep watching. As long as he carries my scale, I'll always know where they are going and what they are plotting... —
In the City of Lamias...
Kaelen slowly opened his eyes, feeling his chest throb with a dull ache. Upon bringing his hand to the point of impact, the boy let out a muffled groan.
— She could have taken it easy... She didn't even let me explain! Despite the whole tragedy, it was statistically inevitable that I would fall on top of her. I've read enough manga to know that these situations border on the absurd, but this crosses the boundaries of ridiculous. Why me? How can women be so complicated?! — he thought, frustrated.
Trying to straighten up in bed, Kaelen jumped upon seeing the door open. Miri entered the room with light steps, holding a tray with a bowl of steaming soup and a glass of fresh juice.
— Young master! You've woken up! Do you feel better? You were unconscious for several hours... This time, you left us all genuinely worried — said the assistant, with eyes wide with relief.
— Do you know what happened exactly? — asked Kaelen, massaging his temples to ward off the remnants of the migraine.
— I know in part... — murmured Miri, taking the empty tray from the bedside table and replacing it with the new dietary reinforcement.
— Then tell me what they told you... —
— Well... They told me that you were caught red-handed trying... well... trying to generate eggs with the baroness's daughter. And that your fiancée caught you two in the act... — reported Miri, maintaining an enviable professional composure, although the blush on her cheeks betrayed her.
Astonished and deeply disgusted with the direction his reputation had taken, Kaelen almost choked on his own saliva:
— Miri, I didn't do any of that! I was trying to run away from her! She applied a paralyzing ointment on me; I could barely speak properly and just wanted to escape! But, by pure bad luck, my Blink failed and I fell on top of her! —
— Young master... Don't you find that a bit hard to believe? — questioned Miri, tilting her head with a skeptical air.
— But it is the pure truth! Besides, how was I going to make eggs with her if I'm still biologically a child?! By the gods... this makes absolutely no sense! —
— Young master, the natural method is not always necessary. The flow of vital energy from both can be used after the initial conception of the egg. Although it is less effective, Lamias can do this through arcane means without much effort! —
— What the hell! I wanted to run away from that crazy woman, why would I want to procreate?! —
Miri crossed her arms over her apron, letting out an analytical sigh:
— Young master, we are well aware of your declared preference for women with prominent busts and hips... Even though we learned in the classes with the baroness that heteromorphic males appreciate such traits due to the ancestral instinct of breastfeeding and fertility — since wide hips mean the ability to generate many descendants —, even so, it doesn't look good to be ogling women wherever you go! After all, wasn't it you yourself who said you intended to marry a female of each species? —
Kaelen widened his eyes, feeling his blood run cold.
— How did you know that?! Better yet: who told you such nonsense?! —
— Your fiancée found out about it through your own mother... That is the exact reason why Lady Valéria has been so irritated and hypervigilant with all the females that approach you — explained Miri, with the greatest innocence in the world.
— That's all I needed... As if the harem wars I saw in animations in my past life weren't enough, now I've become the "official trophy" because of the nonsense I told my mother just to annoy her, because I didn't want to get married! Everyone is making fun of me, they must be... —
Miri looked away for a moment, timidly fiddling with the tip of her apron before murmuring, with her head down:
— Young master... Is what they say true? Even I got a little worried... You aren't going to want to try something with me too, are you? I... I don't have a large bust like you like... —
The assistant looked down, visibly discouraged. Kaelen felt a moral dizziness even greater than the effects of Lamis's ointment.
— Please, Miri, even you?! You know perfectly well that, for a man, one woman is good, two is already a crowd, and more than two is an absolute disaster! How do you think I could handle satisfying so many women? Do you want me to turn into a dried fruit?! —
Miri let out a suppressed laugh, covering her mouth with her hand:
— Oh, young master! There are many fortifying tonics on the market to help men keep up the pace. Lamias have vast knowledge in that medicinal area... I was told the efficacy is surprising, you know? —
Kaelen buried his face in his hands, defeated by the assistant's implacable logic.
— Miri... go do your training... I need to rest — he murmured, with a deeply displeased voice, knowing perfectly well that it was useless to try to argue. With all those people on the loose, his dignity was already irremediably ruined.
As soon as Miri left the room, the door opened with a jolt. Valéria entered with a furrowed brow, her tail whipping the air and an unfriendly expression. Without wasting a second, she began to pour out words like a machine gun:
— Kaelen, don't you think you owe me an explanation? What's this story about flirting with Lamis and, worse yet, ending up on top of her in bed? Did you really want to make eggs with that scaly woman? Didn't you always say you don't have reproductive capabilities? But what were you doing with her, anyway? Didn't you think about the consequences of all this? Do you think all females will fall for your sweet talk? Have you thought about how I feel? And your mother, have you thought about how she would feel if you brought her a lamia grandson? Can't you be a little more responsible?! —
Kaelen looked at her, feeling dizzy and completely crushed by the verbal avalanche.
— As always, the female specialty: overloading the target with questions in a highly mined zone. Any answer here leads me straight to hell, and the devil's pitchfork will be her spear. I'm toast! —
— Can you... — he tried to articulate, but interrupted himself upon receiving a death glare from the tigress. — Argh... can I answer one at a time? Please? —
— I will only allow it if you don't try to dodge and answer my questions with complete seriousness — demanded Valéria, unyielding.
— I promise I'll try... So, ask slowly, because I still feel a little dizzy... — Kaelen decided to play the sick card. He brought his hand to his chest with an expression of pain. — My chest still hurts a lot... —
— Can I tame this tigress with a little pity? —
Valéria softened her expression for a moment, sighing with a mix of compassion and severity:
— I feel a little sorry for you, but it will only be this one time! If there is a next time, I will seriously consider using a knife to correct your behavior... And mind you, when you wake up, you might very well be missing a piece from some other sensitive place. Be aware that there are correct procedures in our culture! —
— What hellish luck I have... Soon enough, I'll become a eunuch. Great, I barely grew up, haven't even enjoyed life and I'm already threatened with castration... — thought Kaelen, hiding his pale face in his hands.
— Kaelen... what did you say? — asked she, narrowing her eyes with suspicion.
— Argh, nothing at all! Just that I couldn't even enjoy myself and I'm already feeling homesick to return home... for my mother... for her food... —
Valéria snorted, crossing her arms:
— Humph... I understand. You've been away from home for a longer time, but don't think you're going to escape. Tell me why you were on top of that pervert. —
Kaelen spent the next half hour explaining every minute detail of the situation, from the unplanned encounter to the paralyzing ointment, trying in every way to appease his jealous fiancée.
— I definitely need to find another fiancée just to control this tigress, otherwise my 'little brother' will never see Eden... It's bad enough that in my previous life I died a virgin and single at forty for being considered weird! —
— You know I'm not totally convinced, Kaelen... — grumbled Valéria, looking away. — I'm only giving you a chance because I really found out that she used a paralyzing drug on you, and you couldn't do anything yet. But be aware of one thing: you are mine, and you will do it with me first! —
After this verbal slip, the tigress suddenly realized the weight of what she had just said. Her face instantly flushed a deep scarlet red.
Noticing the opening, Kaelen gave a teasing smile:
— Don't worry, Valéria. I guarantee that, when I can, I'll go with you. Who knows, maybe I can even use some little spanks like I did with Lamis? —
Valéria's blue eyes widened in pure shock.
— Kaelen, you pervert! Have you no shame, not even with your fiancée?! — she shouted.
Unable to face the boy for even another second, Valéria turned her back and ran out of the room, completely embarrassed.
Kaelen kept looking at the open door, sighing.
— Why wasn't I this popular in my original world? What a monumental headache. It even seems like someone up there is making fun of me, just wanting me to get screwed over. Although it was very cute to see Valéria run out blushing like that, it's better not to cross certain thresholds. I've already had trauma with Lamis, I don't want Valéria to turn into a woman who uses that black baton... Just thinking about it gives me the chills. —
Trying to push away the dangerous thoughts, Kaelen pulled the tray closer to himself. It was already lunchtime. The meal consisted of a light soup with fresh bread.
— Is it really that late? I think I need to ask the time to the next person who comes in... —
The next visit didn't take long. Eradam appeared at the door, holding a small leather pouch:
— Master, are you alright? Do you need herbs for the pain? Or maybe... herbs for stamina? —
Kaelen almost choked on his soup:
— Even you, Eradam, jumped on the bandwagon of these women?! —
— Bandwagon? There's no wave of water flooding the inn, master — replied the elf, genuinely confused. — I'm just repeating what Miri, Akra, Valéria, and the baroness discussed. I'll be honest, I felt a little embarrassed by the details... but, since you are my master, I will do my best to help you with your fiancées or ladies. —
— Eradam, by the gods... What did that crazy baroness say to these girls? Now it makes perfect sense why they are so agitated! This whole situation just makes me want to cry... Tell me exactly what they discussed. —
Eradam scratched the back of his neck, innocently:
— So... it was a bit difficult, and at first I couldn't participate. It was behind closed doors, only with Akra, Miri, and Valéria. Later, when they started talking about the properties of the plants, they called me to help make tonics and find the right herbs along the way. —
— I'm starting to think a perfect storm is coming. I'm screwed... — Kaelen massaged his temples.
— Tell me more, Eradam. What kind of herbs are these? —
— Some are to give men more virility and make them stay awake longer... but I couldn't understand it properly, because the herbs used to ward off sleep are usually different from the ones the baroness mentioned. Another one was used to make the arm thicker and stronger! I even thought about using that one for myself, but I was warned that it is only to be used when you have a female by your side. The other is to relieve extreme fatigue, because they said that "if you run a lot, you're going to need it". I found it extremely interesting! I have very little stamina on walks, you know, master? It would be very good for me too. —
Kaelen felt like crying from anger. On the one hand, for the naive Eradam, who had no idea what those perverted, scheming minds were actually talking about; on the other, because they had involved little Akra in the middle of all that!
— They are all crazy! I'll become an electrified barbecue if I try anything with Akra! Not to mention that she, like me, is still a child, even her mind is childish... These heteromorphic females are terribly presumptuous! —
— Eradam, can you tell me what time it is now? — asked Kaelen, with the darkest tone he could force.
— It is two o'clock in the afternoon, master. Why? —
— Then go get ready and tell everyone to pack their things. We are leaving here today, not a minute later. Tell Miri, Valéria, and Akra to pack everything they need. We will leave at six o'clock at the latest! —
Eradam blinked, surprised:
— Really leaving at night, master? Isn't it dangerous because of monsters and stray animals in the tunnels? —
— Eradam, the worst monster that exists is called "Knife", and it can end your youth in the blink of an eye! —
The elf frowned, feeling through his memory in search of a bestiary:
— Knife? Is there a monster so dangerous called Knife? I've never seen any of those... could it be a new underground species? —
— Yes, Eradam. It's a very dangerous monster. It loves to take limbs from others, and people with "small limbs" are the main victims affected by it... Anyway, don't ask questions and go tell everyone! —
— But master... —
— Just go! —
Not long after, the retinue was finally ready. To speed up their departure, Baroness Vespera lent them a carriage of honor from House Serpentis. Deep in his heart, Kaelen hoped for a stealthy escape; something discreet, slinking through the shadows of the tunnels like fugitives escaping from an asylum.
But, to the boy's absolute and complete misery, the lamias' notion of "discretion" was simply nonexistent.
As soon as the luxury carriage — exaggeratedly lined with crimson silk and with serpent motifs carved in gold — crossed the gates of the manor, Kaelen came face to face with a sea of scales.
They had turned his quick exit into a damn noble parade!
Hundreds of lamias lined the polished stone streets, throwing bioluminescent flower petals and waving fanatically. The situation went from embarrassing to terrifying when some females in the crowd started shouting things at the top of their lungs:
— Come back soon, Lord Kaelen! — shouted a noblewoman. — We'll be waiting for your discipline! — bellowed another, waving a handkerchief. — Bring the black baton on your next visit! I'll be a good student! — yelled a third, blowing kisses.
Kaelen felt his face burn with such intensity that he almost wished the basalt floor would open up and swallow him straight down to the planet's core. On pure instinct of survival and humiliation, he tried to slide under the velvet seat to hide from that public disgrace.
Unfortunately, his fiancée had other plans.
Valéria's hand shot out like a steel claw, grabbing him firmly by the collar of his tunic and hoisting him back onto the seat with an absurd strength.
— Where do you think you're going? — hissed the tigress. She maintained a diplomatic, impeccable, and forced smile for the crowd outside, but shot him a murderous glare out of the corner of her eye. — You are the Spokesperson of the Ancestral Dragon and my fiancé! Keep your posture, act like a noble, and wave to them! —
— Valéria, please... they are asking to be spanked in the public square! Let me play dead... — begged Kaelen, trying to retreat into the shadows of the carriage.
— Wave. Now. Or I'll grab a black baton from those lamias myself and use it on you — she threatened, in a sweet and terribly frightening whisper, digging her nails into his shoulder.
Defeated, Kaelen swallowed hard and leaned out the window. Raising his hand and waving to the perverted lamias was one of the most traumatizing and robotic acts he had ever done in his two lives.
Meanwhile, on the front seat, the chaos continued in its own way. Little Akra amused herself by catching the flower petals that flew in through the window, stuffing them into her mouth and chewing them as if they were tasty snacks, while Miri tried desperately to stop her from eating unknown plants.
Outside, on the driver's seat of the carriage, Eradam drove the sturdy draft lizards with a friendly and innocent smile, waving back to the crowd, completely oblivious to his master's psychological suffering.
When the carriage finally left the monumental gates of the underground city and entered the dark tunnels of the mountain range, Kaelen let out a long sigh, feeling ten years older. He rested his head against the cold window, closing his eyes.
— Goodbye, City of Lamias... I hope, from the bottom of my soul, that the next stop is a normal place. Just normal people without murderous or perverted instincts... Is that too much to ask? —
