On Womanhood: Colonial History, Marianismo and Filipina's Negotiation to Self-Sacrifice
Notice: this entry is unfriendly towards low-effort men known as slugs. This entry also does not welcome those who forgot to take a shower they smell like durian.
A Filipina story in a romance-drama soap opera always goes like this: she suffers, she endures her suffering, still be a mother and soon be rewarded with great joys like family. Even if her selfhood is drained by the demands of her patriarchal husband, a "batugan" who does nothing all day but to loiter, to make merry with his barkada, sing a karaoke and gets drunk.
Such is the case of a working class.
Let's go to the middle-class.
She's a mother of three, she takes care of the children. Her bigoted patriarchal husband makes TikTok contents about how a husband is the head of the family and how God instructed the wife to SUBMIT TO HER HUSBAND. This husband go to church weekly. He always post wholesome pictures about his family on Facebook and would eventually put a Bible verse on it. Maybe around I or II Corinthians said by Apostle Paul.
Now this husband is also a lusty man. Inside his head, he is fantasizing an actress he saw somewhere in Makati. But out of his mouth he says that gender roles consist of responsibility and love given to his wife while the wife gives trust and obedience to his husband.
This bonjing turd is your typical burgis. Someone who loves to show-off his moral superiority just by him stepping inside the Church.
He hated gays because to quote, "Sodom and Gomorrah," as the city of carnal sin.
While these typical manure of bonjing exists around the internet with their insecure masculinity they derive from Bible verses, the women and the gays who live next to this narcissistic garbage have to continuously endure his convoluted head.
And so the next thing you know, the working-class and middle-class Filipina goes abroad because her family, her top priority, has to make ends meet. While his batugan and morally superior husband receives her remittance money to go look for a mistress.
In the case of the middle class burgis, the insecure dipshit bastard goes on to impregnate his wife and bind her further to him. In pop-lingo, to baby-trap the woman since the woman has been socially conditioned to always think first of her family. With more babies coming out, she can't possibly leave her husband now. Why? She needs to think about the kids.
That's Domestic Abuse and Violence for you.
As I watch through Tiktok and many skits coming around which exemplify these fucktards' sense of entitlement, the partners, their girlfriends mainly, are still in the stasis of martyrdom.
That fucking state of mind to keep staying next to a fucking garbage because this Filipina thinks her boyfriend might change later.
Newsflash says male privilege only gets more aggressive by the time they felt the threat of losing their status. Exhibit A: South Korean men, Western manosphere and many more to go.
But Filipina that they are brought up by the Church in which our colonial history burdens us with, the ideal womanhood comes from Maria Clara. It comes from Marianismo where a woman endures, because to quote the Bible, "I can do all things through God who strengthens me."
Even if it means enduring verbal abuse from your husband, physical abuse from your husband, psychological abuse from your husband, from the patriarchal conditioning that you are brought up with, the Filipina will keep on praying to God that everything will turn out to be alright.
That someday, through her patience and suffering, her husband will realize how much sacrifices she'd brought to keep their family afloat.
Statistics of VAWC and real life say that weren't really the case. What you will soon understand are traumatized children inside a dysfunctional family.
She won't call it Domestic Abuse, of course. If a Filipina who'd done her best to be in a proper place gets called as someone domestically abused, it will bring her the "hiya" among the people around her. That will be a shame because the Church says if marriage fails, the woman failed her responsibility to nurture her home. She failed to give her children a safe haven. She failed to submit to her husband, because her husband acted that way. Her husband committed infidelity because the woman didn't give her the satisfaction the husband needed from a "good" and "sanctified" marriage.
It's easier to blame the women of what's wrong. Rather than because her husband is a narcissistic abuser whom they wish not to directly confront nor address. It is more convenient to lecture the long-suffering woman and turn a blind eye to tbe glaring truth, seeing the padre de familia be someone contrary to everything they teach about Jesus Christ being the example.
Will you sweep everything under the rug then? Since you know he failed in being a human and more succinctly had proven himself to belong in the animal kingdom, preferably under the hyena or the rat family.
It's easier to blame every shortcomings onto women rather than because a husband is a scum of the earth.
These patriarchal doctrines to tell the women to hide their bodies for the sake of "modesty," because... shit, believe it or not, according to the patriarchy, a woman's body is somehow "inherently" sexual. When it's simply the male gaze that SEXUALIZES every ASPECT of a woman's body, These patriarchal indoctrinations where women are not allowed to speak in front of the people, stripped of voice nor autonomy to be given the highest position because it should be that "a woman is under a man."
Kiss my fucking ass.
These patriarchal doctrines that ask a woman to cover her head with a long hair. Patriarchal doctrines that contol the women's bodies. Patriarchal doctrine that aims to subjugate the women, continuously, insidiously. Patriarchal doctrines where male privilege is structured under the system and later veiled by the pretext of "what's holy." Weaponize God's name, and later praise yourself adjacent to such blasphemy. Adding to the ingrained misogyny under the laws of men which will always have men be excused for what they commit: abuse women, exploit the children and murder women.
But the Filipina knows her rights, always had been. Her society allows her to do so. She will soon find her confidence back and will take the children away from her abusive husband. However, the Church will frown. Why did you let your children grow up in a broken family? The Church asks. As if this sole responsibility lies on the poor woman alone.
And so, the Church will never ever approve of the "Divorce Law."
For marriage is "sanctified by God." To allow Divorce Law is to "disrespect the vows recited in the eyes of God."
Says the rhetoric that will never ever cease within this conservative society.
Thus says the Church:
"Marriage is the permission to allow a man and a woman (no gays or third gender allowed, okay) to build a family in God's will. A family is the basic unit of society. If we are a God-fearing country, allowing divorce greatly disrespects not only of the security of this basic unit of society, but also the threshold that is permitted by God. The vows recited in front of the Church is desecrated by how lightly they take marriage as a life choice."
And when asked about Domestic Abuse inside the family structure:
"In a God-fearing home, there should be love and respect to both the husband and wife. If these disagreements occur, it is better to trust on to God of what's best and deal these things according to His will. You talk with an open heart (next to a husband who physically, verbally and mentally tormented his wife, not counting the trauma this gives)."
In short: tone-deaf to the sign of the contemporary times.
But a Filipina is a Filipina, that woman may be socially-conditioned to be a docile and meek Maria Clara, but her society recognizes she also has the status of a Gabriela. So she will snuff her nose out of the shame her marriage with a cockroach husband had given her, and will carry on. She's is not insane yet as to not leave her maggot of a husband. Regardless if she's a married woman under the Filipino national registry, she will date an American. A symbolic fuck you to that wimpy prick like her husband. Through the power of that American dollar and American visa, she will soon file for an annulment. She takes her children abroad and will eventually settle somewhere in the US of A.
And that's how her martyrdom leads her. She could've just avoided everything before the children, before the Church lecture and before the violence and abuse. But my girl, you are so thoroughly indoctrinated to always settle for the bare minimum, you keep putting up with what is clearly a garbage and a solidified piece of shit.
I cannot even. You have that empathy in you, I know. You have showed me kindness and compassion, if not patience. You have so much love to give, and your are so nice to me all the time. But on why you suffered such repugnant vicissitudes when you shouldn't have to grates under my skin as your fellow Filipina. You don't deserve to become a victim in a place like this. You don't deserve to be treated as if you should erase your selfhood when all you did is to give and give until nothing is left of you. That self-sacrifice is a negotiation which gives without winning next to a structure that only aims to reward you in the eyes and validation of men.
But that's how you are conditioned, if throughout your life, you had live under the patriarchy.
I guess, one is a luxury I have to live with a consciousness and an environment that is more egalitarian even if by appearance it looks male-dominated, but in practice, women have more significant roles.
I don't understand Marianismo because I'm not Catholic-raised. But I do understand strict gender roles under Puritanism. It makes the two of us in some way. We're both Filipinas after all, still finding our foothold in this political shit show called the Philippines.
As for the rest of the young women, educate yourself, please. Don't settle to what is a minimum. Settle for a standard or better, I beg of you. Look for the genuine, the authentic and of someone with solidarity to us. Not another account of how much martyrdom you're giving on what is an abusive relationship.
And as for the manosphere, I couldn't give a shit. Male endemic of "loneliness" is so crass, you litter throughout the internet evangelizing misogyny while the women next to you strive to better themselves
Nobody gives a fuck about you. At least for me, I couldn't give a fuck about your redpill content. Far-right rhetoricists. How I pray to God I won't meet you at cross-roads hearing you spouting your views as if they were the truth. But I do know that the truth is an insecure fucktard who's whining, because unlike "the old days" where scumbag like you can have a woman by no mere effort at all, in today's time, it is demanded that you actually do the work like a well-informed and a compassionate man. One who knows empathy and listens to women's voices, one who takes a walk to try and understand our struggles in a system we are all pitted against. One who cooperates and takes action when it needed. One who speaks of a character, and as someone who does make an effort that goes beyond the patriarchal status quo where he grows the awareness and the discomfort of how his male privilege costs us, women, in return.
Current days actually call on to decent human being who knows how to work an egalitarian partnership under the romantic pretense.
That young women are educated enough to know they're not malleable. And so you tadpole dimwits would go on to prey and groom minors because they haven't yet possess the mind to understand what a miniscule insect you are as a life partner. In which you are a loser, an abuser, a groomer and a pest as you blame women for your "loneliness."
I couldn't stand your type. You always smell shit few meters away. Abhorrent. Fuckin' bonjing I see your butt shaped face throughout the Philippines getting all so cocky like you know truth.
Keep up the algorithm game, asshole.
And prove to our society just how much of an Andrew Tate copycat you are and nothing more.
