リドゥ
The child within me can't handle this. Two lives suddenly merging together.
A pain that was there only seconds before, and such great fear, all suddenly gone.
I feel my insides lift and I am forced down kneeling by my own body. To throw up on that snow crested ground.
「Damn it... why did this happen? Why...?」
I didn't realize until now, but tears are streaming down my face.
Is a younger mind really that fragile?
I don't really feel like crying... I just feel sick, and confused. But I cry.
Despite my body shaking, uncomfortably so, I clutch my stomach and pull myself together. Watching as my tears trickle down onto the snow.
「Goddess...」
I want to lift my head and curse the heavens, but I feel so heavy.
I should focus on not fainting... Everything, all of this, takes too much of a toll on my psyche.
「Eh? Kai-kun, what are you-」
Apparently one of the sisters - Mizuki - from the convent was gardening.
Before she finishes her question, she gasps upon seeing the expression on my face, quickly hurrying over to my side.
To be fair, I am a 8 year old boy currently... So it's only natural such a distraught face would earn a gasp and concern.
「Oh my goodness, you are sick! What's wrong? Are you hurt? Come on, quick let's get you inside.」
Just like that I am essentially dragged inside.
Hey, I'm not in trouble, so you could at least be gentle!
I'm hastily taken into the dining room by a concerned Mizuki, sat down on a chair as one of the other sisters come in.
Mizuki sighs in relief upon seeing Aelaria, an Elf, come trotting in. Instantly looking just as shocked at my distraught expression.
I try to wipe my face so as not to look as pathetic.
「Mizuki, did you let him eat something poisonous?! Why is Kai crying?」
「Wh- wha? Why do I instantly get blamed? If there was anything poisonous, it's your fault for not removing it!」
「Oh hush!」
The elf lady promptly looks my way and comes over. Crouching down beside me as she feels my forehead, presumably to get my temperature.
「Oh Kai... what have you done? We look away for one second, and you're brought inside burning up an in tears. What to do with you...」
Heh... it's kinda nice being pampered.
But I'm forgetting something. Something important.
Yes, I died.
So is this all a flashback? Or am I really a child again?
Please... I don't want to have to live this same life again.
The only sensible thing to do is to try and confirm. I'm composed enough to gather my words, so...
「Aelaria-san... Mizuki-san... what year is it?」
I get two confuddled looks. Aelaria’s eyes narrowed in concern as she tilted her head, brushing away my stray tears.
「Did you hit your head too Kai-kun? 1080 of the Orthodox Calendar.」
「Ah...」
Everything else being said fades out.
Damn it... I really lost everything. Again... Part of me thinks death may have been better. To finally pass like I am meant to - no more of these second chances...
What does one even do in this situation?
I don't have the willpower to go through yet another death...
Well, I didn't even reincarnate. I'm just... restarting.
「Damn it...」
