第一楽章・私 The 1st. movement: about me
1)体形
私は細くもなければ背も高くはない。10代後半から30になるまでの一番おしゃれに気を使う世代の時巨乳過ぎた。その時期に流行っていたのはへそだしとかピタ系の服。Ｆカップの身にはそんな服は入らない。入ったとしてもバランスが悪くなる。憧れの服は雑誌で見ているだけ。
洋服が選べるのが羨ましかった。洋服は着るものを選ぶのではなく着られるものを探すものだった。しょげていたので、洋服を買う気にもなれず、人からもらったものだけ着ていた。
1) My Style
I am short and not thin.
My breast was too big to wear fashion clothes from late teens before becoming 30, when people cared the most about fashion.
During that time, the tight or navel-out clothes had been popular.
Even if I, with F cup breast, could wear such clothes, my appearance balance became bad.
That had me give up to buy the longed-for fashion clothes with a magazine, and I only watched those.
I was enviable the girls with smaller breast than me who can choose clothes.
For me, clothes are not the things to choose but to find wearable.
I wore only used clothes taken from the person and did not tend to buy new clothes because I was depressed the above reason.
2)性格
昔から「変わっている」「日本人らしくない性格」と言われ続け、学生時代は1/3が帰国子女というとこにおりまして、そこの同級生からも、前述のことはもちろん、「日本脱出したほうがいい」「欧米人と結婚した方がいい」と言われ続けていた。
日本人としての自分に自信がなく、「こんな思いをするくらいならこんな所、こっちから捨ててやるわ」とひたすら海外脱出を狙っていた。（確か誰にも言った覚えがない。）英語にすがりついたのもそれが理由。結婚が決まった際その意味で腹をくくりましたね。
2)My charactor
For old days, I had been continued to be said that "Your character is colorful." "You are not like a Japanese," by others including my family. Especially
in my university days, one-third of students were returnee children.
I had been continued to be said "You should escape from Japan.” Addition to the above, "You should marry Westerners," by my classmates.
I did not have confidence as Japanese and aimed at overseas to escape earnestly "I will throw away such a place rather than continue to have such a feeling!"(I thought that I told that nobody.) It is a reason why I attached to English.
When my marriage was decided, I made up mind in this sense.
