Chapter 31 _ The Fourth Wall, and the Divine Beast
Two days had passed since the deadly Ogre battle.
On a calm morning bathed in gentle sunlight,
I woke up to see a white cat in the corner of the room,
waving her tiny paws through the air with a terribly serious expression.
“Hmm… no, that won’t do either…
But if I choose that, it still doesn’t sit right…”
“…What are you doing, Frey?” I asked, rubbing sleep from my eyes.
“You’re awfully focused this early.”
“Oh! You’re awake, Mario!”
Frey trotted over to my bedside, looking unusually grave.
“I have realized something…
something very serious.”
“…Let me guess.
Is this about the heroine role again?”
“Exactly!” she snapped.
“Mario, answer me this—
have I not, at some point, lost the ‘heroine slot’ to Iris?”
“…You’re still on that.”
“This is a matter of life and death for female readers!”
Frey puffed out her chest.
“At this rate, I’ll be reduced to nothing more than
‘the convenient cat-shaped exposition device’!”
“I’ve told you already—
male readers are going to think you’re just being persistent.”
“Hmm… so the gap between male and female values truly cannot be bridged…”
Right on cue, there was a knock at the door.
“Good morning, Mario!
Ah—Master, good morning as well.”
Iris stood there with a fresh, dewy smile—
so perfectly textbook heroine that Frey visibly bristled.
“…Iris,” Frey muttered.
“Your flawless politeness may be my greatest enemy.”
“…Master?”
I explained the situation with a wry smile.
Iris listened, then turned to Frey with a serious, apologetic expression.
“But I honestly think you are the heroine, Master,” she said.
“You’re adorable, incredibly knowledgeable,
and actually very kind.”
“As for me…
I’m probably just filling the ‘blonde girl’ slot.”
Frey’s eyes went sharp.
“…Iris.
You took the words I once used to provoke you,
wrapped them in perfect modesty,
and used them to subtly assert dominance, didn’t you?”
“…No! I really meant it!”
“Ohoho…
Then my likability should drop just a little now.”
She grinned.
“Now then—if there were a popularity poll,
this would be the decisive moment.”
She paused dramatically.
“Yes… this is exactly the moment!”
“…Frey,” I said, deadpan.
“That kind of line only middle-aged men use.”
She froze.
“…………”
“I’ve been meaning to ask,” I added.
“Are you secretly an old man on the inside?”
“F–fool!
If the author is an old man,
some of that is bound to leak into me!”
“…Author?”
“Haven’t you felt it?
That our words and actions are guided
not by divine will, but by the sound of a keyboard?”
“In other words—
the author is my true nemesis!”
Iris tried to support her master (knowing it was probably pointless).
“Well… you do get the most lines, Master…”
“That’s it!!!” Frey snapped.
“But no—no, you misunderstand!”
“Explanation characters, data characters,
they’re all used freely by the author!”
“And yet—has there ever been
a data character who won a popularity poll?”
“…You might have a point.”
“Speedwagon from JoJo, Piccolo from Dragon Ball—”
“…And you accuse me of being old?”
“I can’t help it!
The author’s old!”
“…So this world really is ruled by an old man.”
“Those series are still popular with younger people! Probably!”
“Then strike a pose popular with today’s youth, Mario.”
“I’ve been a loner shut-in my whole life!
How would I know that!?”
“…Fair enough. Let us depart.”
“…You’re irritating.”
We headed for the Guild, laughing quietly.
The moment we entered,
the atmosphere felt heavy—different from usual.
A crowd had gathered around the notice board,
even veteran adventurers staring with grim expressions.
Roger and Hans approached,
already seeming to know the situation.
“…What’s going on?” I asked.
Roger snorted and gestured toward the board.
“An unreasonable request.
The reward’s enough to live off for years,
but it’s way above your heads.”
Hans smoothly took over.
“These are called Emergency Guild Requests,” she explained.
“They involve the Three Divine Beasts—
entities that rule over Might, Life, and Mind.”
“God Dragon. God Bird.
And this time… the God Wolf.”
The air chilled at the name alone.
“She’s lying directly across a major trade route.
Force won’t work—she’s intelligent, but extremely temperamental.”
“One wrong word,
and you die.”
I glanced at Frey.
The God Wolf—
the divine beast of the mind.
Frey’s mother.
“…I’ll take it,” I said.
Roger glared at me.
“Are you insane?
Didn’t you just learn that knowing your weakness keeps you alive?”
“But Frey is with us.
That’s her mother, right?
There has to be room for negotiation.”
Frey shook her head slowly.
“My mother observes the world by her own will.
She will not favor me just because I am her daughter.”
“…Even so,” I said, meeting Roger’s gaze,
“if there’s a chance to talk, it’s worth trying.”
“I want to meet Frey’s family.”
Roger sighed, then smirked faintly.
“…Tch.
This is why ignorant kids are such a pain.”
Yet despite his words,
he nodded.
